Frodo "Not My Cat" and Leonie

Do you remember Leonie? My friend Leonie, the lioness?

The other day she casually mentioned her twin. Can you believe she never told me before?
And guess where her twin sister is living ... with Mom's sister B.! And another guess, who do think is Leonie's best friend ... B.'s black Not My Cat! Or should that be Not Her Cat in this case? Ah, who cares.
Here they are, Frodo and Leonie the First (my Leonie moved in later).

I wonder what she said to him that he thought he had to put his paw on her mouth.

He's not the first "Not My Cat" who likes to hang out with B. She's famous for her cat buffets and neighbor cats like to do a quick stop at her place every, now and then to check out what's the special of the day. Der Dekan has said more than once he'd like to visit sometime to see if the buffet is really as good as it says in the reviews.

Frodo and his brother Filou live(d) across the street from B.
Filou was more of a shy and a bit skittish cat. He liked being at home and he liked to roam his territory, but if it was very cold, he'd come by for a quick or sometimes a longer nap in the warm and a meal.
He passed the Rainbow Bridge a while ago and is fondly remembered.

Frodo on the other hand enjoys the finer things in life - as he did his brother's leftovers (does that sound familiar to you, only that somecat dares taking his Lady's leftovers, aka mine).
Of course he insists on a stroll through the neighborhood, but even more he insists on the absolute submission of humans. It's his world, they are just allowed to live in it if they know their place and have opposable thumbs and the cans, pouches, and packs to open with those thumbs.

This is where King Frodo likes to hold court when he's outside, by the way. People know he's sitting there and come by just to pay homage to him. Many of them think it's the house where he lives and are surprised to learn that his home is on the other side of the street, but seriously, show me the king who only has one house. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Frodo had a few secret ones on the side. I'll have to call him sometime and ask.

Frodo looks like a big bear of a cat, but of course it's all hair and in the middle a tiny starving body. You know how humans are, opposable thumbs or not, you just can't rely on them for ten meals a day, but when they start snacking ...
Having to be hungry all the time while ruling the neighborhood with a benevolent but firm paw is deeply exhausting and calls for comfortable sleeping spots.
Look what B. is offering him, though!

An armchair which is clearly too small for such a big personality.

The floor. Okay, so there is a rug, but still. Leonie can't believe it, either.

A hard chair!
After Frodo let B. know that this was absolutely unacceptable, she showed a bit more effort, but why do humans always need a kick, a poke, a scratch or extra hair in their nose to provide for the simplest amenities?
Is that the way you treat a 17 year old feline king?

And then she complains when he takes up a tiny bit of space on her couch, pokes her armchair just a little bit with one claw or demands to be set free to see his kingdom at 2 a.m.
Humans, I swear!!!

Taking back the throne

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the last post. What a sneaky little punk!
He was right about my spending a night away from home, though. Mom is so lucky that I never hold a grudge for long because not only did I have to stay at the vet's all by myself, but it was for nothing! Can you believe it??
My vet had heard some heart murmur when I was so excited and so they shaved my chest - now that my belly is finally starting to grow back in - and gave me an ultrasound and Mom was too wimpy to even come and hold my paw. Her excuse was that she thought he would upset me even more.

Good news, though. There's no medication needed yet - take that, you liquid snack hungry little brat - and the vet found a lot of wonderful words for my blood work.
When Mom picked me up and finally took me back home again, I spent a few hours on the Stairs to Nowhere just to show her and dem Dekan how hurt I was. Later Mom told me that he had been very confused and sensitive about me being gone. Who would have thought ....

Anyway, I needed to make clear that I'm still the boss here, so I changed my routine around a bit - slept on the pillow behind Mom's head, kept ripping the kitchen baseboard out every time I came by the kitchen (always worth a little detour), slept on Mom for hours and ignored her pleas to let her breathe.
Most important, though, I took back my throne on the wardrobe to set a sign.

Don't mess with Lady Gundel!

Unfortunately that means we have to do the same stupid thing again next week because the vet is now sure they can do the anesthesia for my dental appointment without a problem.
If you have any tips for a good revenge, let me know!

Wanted???

Can you believe what I found today??
A Wanted poster. If your guess is that der Dekan is in it for a new crime, you are wrong. No, it's my beautiful face in the picture!
"Wanted for letting her little brother corrupt her and subsequent kitchen vandalizing"
Have you ever heard something that stupid? What does Mom think, that she's funny, a Wild West sheriff, a bounty hunter? Has she watched "El Dorado" once too often?

Oh, you want to know what my "crime" was? Well, I may have pulled on the board underneath the kitchen cabinets. Just a little, you know. In an ingenious (she wishes!) attempt to keep den Dekan from ripping out those boards constantly, she has lined up a whole bunch of door stoppers along those two boards.
You may remember this picture of the artist with his work from his 2023 exhibition.

After looking for new ways to wreak havoc for a while, der Dekan went back to his roots and back to his boards and door stoppers. The first time he did it after his creative break, Mom almost locked him in because he had decided to check out what was behind those boards and she hadn't noticed him being in there.
Having grown (sideways) since then, he has even more power and he likes to knock over the stoppers and then pull. At least that's Mom's theory because she can't imagine he can pull so hard that the stoppers fall over by themselves. Her naivete is charming at times.

Then she started suspecting me having a paw in this as well. She just wasn't sure if der Dekan did the preliminary work and I just played with what I got because she heard me knocking around stoppers and the little center thingy that holds the two boards together (or not :-D ) or if I was to blame in full, especially because it happened several times during a short time period.

Last night, however, she caught me. She knew the boards were in place when she was last in the kitchen and der Dekan went with her to settle on her legs. I tried to calm her by sitting on her chest, but when I left and she heard the typical sound from the kitchen, the game was up.
I should have waited until der Dekan had got up, too! I guess I was just too excited. I have practiced the pulling for months on Mom's hair and am a pro at it, but it was much more fun to have den Dekan being blamed for my kitchen fun.

To add insult to the injury for getting caught and having the door locked overnight, however, she put up that poster. Have you seen the reward she's offering??
When I confronted her, she said she couldn't offer more because everyone knew where I was, anyway - on my personal pillow throne in bed - and if I didn't understand a joke.

Oh my darling Mom, the joke will be on you. Just you wait, just you wait.

Interview with a Christmas tree

Gundel: Mr. Christmas Tree, thank you for being here today and sharing your story.

Mr. Tree: To be honest, I would have preferred to talk to someone who has not been part of my traumatic experience over the last few weeks.

Gundel: I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I would, however, like to apologize on behalf of my little brother. He had a hard kittenhood and is still struggling at times.

Mr. Tree: HE is struggling? With what other than his weight? Have you ever been tackled by that little brute? Oh wait, you have, haven't you? And this hard kittenhood lasted all of what, six weeks? After which he started to be spoilt more than all of the royal corgis together.

Gundel: What happens between my little brother and me, is none of your business. How our Mom chooses to spoil us or not, is none of your business. Also you should be very careful about throwing insults around. Can we please get back to the topic now?

Mr. Tree: I'll be very happy to and hope both you and your "little brother" - neither little nor your actual brother if I may say so - will be taking responsibility for the vicious attacks not only on my life.
Look at me, I have been reduced to a mere light holder, unloved, deprived of my ornaments and the company of my dear friends, my branches drooping from the attacks which still haven't stopped completely.

Gundel: By usual standards, you would already have been taken down and confined to your box again. Aren't you glad about being able to shine your lights a little longer? Mom says you make her very happy.

Mr. Tree: Oh, I make her happy, do I? How about asking her how much she's interested in making me happy? I got feelings too, you know.
Are you aware that four of my gnome friends are currently missing and there hasn't even been sent out a search party yet, no doubt because the human knows only too well who abducted them and left them in some corner, but doesn't want to admit it.
Would you at least put up this poster?
I can't be sure it's exactly these four who are missing because the others have been locked away in a cabinet before I could take statements, but the family resemblance should help.

Gundel: Alright, alright. I'll put it up and maybe I'll have a little stroll and look for them myself.
Thank you for the interview, Mr. Tree.

Mr. Tree: Wait, I'm not finished ye.... hey, don't you dare ignore me ... hellooooo?

Gundel: Oh Mooooom! Didn't you say you finally wanted to pack up the tree? I would help, but I gotta find them wee gnomes ....

Tree Swiper HQ

Have you been wondering how the Christmas thing is going in this house? I thought it was time for a little update.

Mom's first surprise was the night the Christmas tree fell. It was 3.15 a.m. and Mom had been sound asleep with the brat in her arm - I think he does that so she will forgive his countless crimes more easily as she adores having a cat in her arms, but we both hate being picked up - when she heard small knocking sounds which she quickly recognized as gnomes hitting the floor. Later she said she smiled to herself knowing I also had fun with her Christmas gifts to us ... until there was a wooshing sound next.
She turned on the light and saw me, rather unimpressed, next to the fallen tree. Seems her little box scheme is not that effective after all or maybe I just got the perfect angle.
Der Dekan went all wide eyed, no doubt jealous that (the first?) hit of the year was mine and not his. Mom grabbed her camera and took a shot into the dark which accounts for the amazingly bad quality of this picture, but I guess it's a good enough proof of my genius.

Of course that doesn't mean der Dekan feels defeated, he's still very much having his own fun with the tree.
Today Mom noticed that its back looked pretty much undecorated and she didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce very quickly why.
The tree's spot is where our cat donut is usually. A while ago, Mom got it in a special sale, hope everlasting that we would actually use it. Which happens rarely. Very rarely. I don't like the tunnel part at all because I know perfectly well who would be waiting for me outside. Not worth the fun. I also don't like sleeping in there. Why should I if I have my very own pillow in bed plus I am allowed to sleep on all soft surfaces I choose? Der Dekan has sat in it a few times, but not for long, and sometimes he checks the tunnel to make sure there's no other cat in there and that's it.

Now, however, the donut is right behind the tree. Another stroke of genius from Mom who simply thought it would not be used any more back there than it had been before. She was so wrong.

Sitting or lying in there, he can easily and comfortably reach the different branches and just pull off what he wants.
That doesn't mean he's not still enjoying his jumps into the tree, but sometimes you just want to put in minimal energy to wreak maximum havoc, and so he made this his Tree Swiper HQ. Mom refuses to put a sign with its name on it after she crawled around on the floor looking for ornaments. It was particularly funny when she was flat on her belly looking under the wardrobe. Without any success, I should mention. We know better than to hide things in obvious places.

She did manage to "save" two of them, though, rudely interrupting this cozy playdate! 🙄

Happy Valentine's Day!

There are several stories Mom loves to tell about special moments she's had with her cats.
The most important ones are probably in regards to Dude because he was the one who started it all by making Mom fall in love with him at first sight and therefore making it possible for us others to follow in his footsteps.

The first moment lasted about four hours which was the time Mom spent in the chair under the lemon tree holding. Four hours of strategic purring, loving on Mom and drooling on her shirt, convincing her they would have to find a way to get this boy (not so young anymore how they found out later) from California to Germany. Which they did, with the help of their friend in whose house he had been left behind by the previous residents, after her ex couldn't resist him either when it was his turn to meet him a week later.

The second moment came after he had been let out of the bedroom where he had been locked up to make sure he'd be there for his flight to Germany. The whole evening they had tried to get him back inside, not made easier by it being Halloween and the friend's cat being so territorial and chasing him (which was the reason for her not having been able to take him in fully).
The next morning, however, after worrying the whole night, Mom found him sitting on the neighbor's window sill and when she opened her arms, Dude walked right in and clung to her. She often says that the feeling was incredible and that she can still feel it when the memory comes up.

Another moment were 15 minutes of Madam Mim sitting on her lap. Mim loved being in the same room and she tolerated pets and short hugs, but she was not a lapcat. 15 minutes were all she gave Mom in her life, very precious 15 minutes, especially after knowing Mim had had some hard times in her life.

The moment Mom picked up sick baby Merlin from the post from where he was hissing at her in the attempt to convince her of his fierceness.

I could of course keep going with stories from my, let's call them ancestors, but also other cats Mom met in her life, but let's get to me now.
In May 2017, I moved in here. You may remember that I was really skinny and really tired and so glad to get off the streets. I learned to trust Mom, but I always had my boundaries. Petting, fine. Cuddling on the pillow on my terms, fine. Even belly pets are okay with me if I'm in the right mood. I have to draw lines, however. No picking up for cuddling, no carrying around - that means that if it happens now, it usually means vet or - not for a while now *knocking on wood* - medication. No holding down for medication, I'll rip your arm off and I'm not kidding. Ask Mom, she learned the hard way.
And like Mim, I'm not a lap cat. I may stand on Mom with my front paws on very rare occasions, usually if I'm very close to starvation, but I can count those times on one paw.

Today, though, I decided to give Mom a huge gift. She doesn't do Valentine's Day, not just because she's single, it's just not her thing, but now she will always remember this.
She had got cozy, den Dekan on her feet, what else, and ready to make a grocery order.
And then I walked up and sat on her chest.
She actually held her breath. This is not something I have ever done before and she couldn't believe it. She started petting me and I just sat there for a while.
Then I lay down. Guys, I honestly thought she'd lose it completely now.
I gave her our very own special moment - for two hours. She put away the laptop to give me more room and I used it. I purred, I groomed, I rolled around, I stretched out, I rolled up to a ball, I did the whole portfolio, even fell asleep twice, and I swear that Mom teared up a little because it made her so, so happy.
Her favorite game show was running in the background, it often makes her laugh out loud, but she was very careful not to belly laugh, so she wouldn't disturb me, instead she chuckled softly and even then she held me, so I wouldn't be startled by that.
There is no saying how much longer this could have gone on if someone hadn't needed an urgent trip. I could tell how much Mom hated having to coax me off her belly with promises of an extra snack, and now she keeps staring at me, still in disbelief.
I tell you one thing, that lady loves me, and there's nothing der Dekan can do about it. You want to know why I even mention him? Well, see for yourself ;-) He seems to have been wondering about what's going on, too!

Mom took more pictures and even tried to get a little video, but her arms were hardly long enough to manage anything at all as you can tell from the picture not showing my feet. So she's not showing them all, but she tried her best and you get the idea :-D
She told me she'd keep them all, anyway. Humans are so weird.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!

Plotting for world domination

We shall fight on the beaches ... since der Dekan seems to have the goal to eat until he looks like Churchill, it seems rather appropriate to borrow from his famous speech.
In fact, however, we shall not only fight on the beaches, but on land and water which is the reason for us inviting my friend, the shark, to this little meeting.

We tried to make it look harmless, but something in Mom's eyes told me she didn't trust the peace. Der Dekan, who for good reason is the muscle (and belly!) of the operation while I am obviously the brain, came a little too close. He sat on me!
I could either get up right away and hiss at him or look extremely cute to make Mom think I have finally learned to tolerate the little creep. I opted for a mix of the two. For ten, fifteen minutes, I was cute while cursing den Dekan on the inside. I do have to admit, however, that he didn't play his part too badly. There were no stupid attempts to bite my neck or lick my ears, and no slap attacks.
Well, and Bruce - all sharks in this house are called Bruce - has been a cool dude from the very start.

When I finally decided we had had a good first meeting and needed to split to keep it believable, I gave him one short hiss and he got up and walked away, just like that.
Now if Mom weren't such an extremely suspicious woman! I guess it has to do with all those years of cats around here.

No worries, though. We can lurk for a very long time until we finally pounce.
We've got this!

P.S. I don't care much for Mom calling us The Gang now, though ...

I'm still afraid of no shark

Shortly after I moved in here, Ponder had a talk with Mom about me "being dangerous" and producing this photo of me and one of my shark friends for proof.

I wish I could show him in person that I'm still befriending sharks like this one that swam into the house today, on a wave of humidity, no doubt (seriously, it's hot!).
Look, Ponder! Mom says hi. We miss you.

Hunter or thief?

I have lived in the streets. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and decided to never go back after Mom offered me a warm bed, armchairs, rugs, and blankets almost exactly five years ago. Yup, on May 23rd, we ladies celebrated the best thing that has ever happened to Mom (and I don't care if she's trying to tell me about her other gotcha stories).
Der Dekan didn't celebrate. He didn't have time for it, there are always things to do.
That's fine with me, I like my special time with Mom. She tells me how beautiful I am - true - how lucky she was to get a gorgeous girl like me - true - and she even gave me bits of cheese - don't tell anyone, I'm not really supposed to have it, but there were no bad consequences, so don't scold her. Of course she can't resist me. Who can?
Anyway, I know where I want to stay and what I want to do and don't want to do.
I don't steal, I'm sweet, I'm as loyal as I can be, and I don't steal. Oops, did I say that twice? You know where I'm getting at, do you ..... Let me tell you a story.

It was two weeks ago.
Mom was in a whiny mood because her back had gone back out some time before, and although she could already perform the important tasks around the house again - food and water for us and our litterboxes - she still walked like an 80 year old and moaned so much that it was kind of hard to nap in peace.
Suddenly I heard her laugh out, though.
Apparently, she had looked for something in her underwear drawer and found a black undershirt that she had only worn once or twice in years, so she decided that it was time to get rid of it. She put it down next to her, but when she was done and turned around, the shirt had gone.
As it's rather a rare event for shirts to go walking on their own, she immediately knew her main suspect. He was rather small, had stripes and had been a hardcore criminal since his early youth.
When she went looking for the culprit, this is what she saw ...

A feeble attempt at hiding the goods in the usual place, his "play rug".

As she followed him through the flat, still laughing, the criminal still tried to escape with the loot. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth between the hallway and the rug - no doubt hoping for the door to freedom to open which didn't happen.

Slippery PVC is every thieving kitty's enemy, especially if both his front feet are on a shirt that makes it even worse. I really wish there were a video of this because I have to admit it made me laugh, too.
It looked to me as if this escape had not been planned very well.

In the end, the shirt ended up on the play rug from where it disappeared shortly after. Believe it or not, but it hasn't been found yet ......

Now you tell me. Is der Dekan a mighty hunter as Mom claims or is he just the little thief that I take him for?