Christmas Massacre

"What's the matter, Mom? You are looking pale."
"Christmas Massacre, it will be in the history books as the Christmas Massacre."
"Saint Valentine's Day Massacre, you mean. Chicago 1929."
"It's Christmas now."
"What are you talking about, crazy woman? You don't make any sense at all."
"Gundel. She's out to get me. I will be next."
"You will be next for what? A hug-me-jacket?"
"This morning I found a parrot next to me in bed."
"A parrot."
"A Steiff parrot! Gundel couldn't get into the glass cabinets for a horse's head, so she used a parrot instead! And then all of them were just lying there on the ground."
"What the ... all of them who?"
"The birds of course! And she did it again. She's obviously a gang member. I should have known. Coming from the street in her nice black suit, all charms and sweet behavior and all the time she just had this planned."
"Gundel a gang member. You are out of your mind."
"A mobster, yes."
"Any evidence?"
"Just wait. This isn't it yet. I put the bodies away, but when I came back into the bedroom, oh, it was gruesome. And this time I took a picture."

"Ah. Okay, that does look a bit, erm, disturbing. And she made the bunnies watch. Who are living under very sad conditions, I should mention."
"At least they were safe from the mobster. I'm not."
"I hope you didn't compromise the crime scene. Do you need me for the autopsy? I'd be glad to help, you know."
"Well, I picked them up and put them into a cupboard."
"You are watching crime on TV all the time, and this is what you've learned from it. Pick'em up and put'em into a cupboard? No chalk outlines, no collecting of evidence. How do you even know it was her?"
"In almost fourteen years you have never done anything like this. I heard her this morning, I just didn't know I was listening in to a massacre. I ... I need to have a lie down."

I'll have to have a serious word with Gundel. I'm still the Godfather around here. It's fantastic to have her as muscle, make no mistake, but now that we struck fear in Mom's heart, we have to advance with great care. Very great care indeed ....

One year anniversary

I know, I know. It has almost been a year that I was here the last time. Shame on me. I have a lot of things to do, though, you know. It's not easy supervising this household. Mom is hopeless. Sometimes I wonder how she even finds the way to work. And despite her constant claims and complaints that I "keep invading her personal space by moving too close" she would be completely lost without me. She's quite aware of that, too, she just doesn't want to admit it. If she just gave in to the vibrations of my body when I am lying on her wrist instead of telling me that I'm too big! And too heavy! Quite the nerve from someone who ... wait, I didn't come here to talk about myself as tempting as it may be.

Today is a special day, a day that changed Greebo's and my life in some way, and definitely Mom's life which is pretty easy to do - humans, you understand - but even more someone else's life. This someone is small (at least compared to me), wears a beautiful black coat, doesn't take any crap from anyone, knows exactly what she wants - and moved into this house one year ago!

Yes, I wasn't too certain about Gundel moving in here, but between you and me, things have worked out very nicely. So far she has not tried to take away anything that's mine, not my spot on the desk or in bed, not my food, not my Mom. She likes to be petted and sleep on the designated cat pillow or blanket, she can be demanding if she wants a snack and she lets Mom kiss her, clean her eyes and snorgle her - as long as it doesn't go on for too long. While she loves a good game of fetch, she is also perfectly able to entertain herself with a ball or one of Mom's Easter egg blanks.
Every, now and then we play tag and do what Mom calls the mustang race. She usually leaves Greebo in peace which is a good thing as he is 17 now and wouldn't be able to keep up with her.

Mom keeps saying it was destiny that Gundel turned up in her sister's yard. Back then she was so skinny and she just sat on the window sill and later lay on the bed and had a meal every, now and then. It really was as if she had always been here, and sometimes it is hard to believe it has only been a year.

Gundel, here's to many, many more!

Love, Ponder