Saturday, December 9, 2023

An offer Mom can't refuse

Almost five years ago, Ponder told you about the Christmas Massacre. A very fond memory of mine and it's a shame that Mom has been so thorough about restricting my access to the Steiff woolies.
For years, she had been living in fear after that, calling me a mobster and gang member. Little did she know then what hardened criminal she would invite into her life only a few years later, being deceived by his little pot belly and his darling face.

He still has the belly and he sure can put on an innocent face while committing the most heinous crimes.
Today, for example ... wait, you need to know the whole story.
Against better knowledge, Mom had decided to put up a Christmas tree again this year. As if der Dekan had grown up during the last year. I mean, he has grown, but actually not in a way that a small Christmas tree would be able to appreciate when being tackled.
After the tree had fallen for the third time in four days and ornaments had been generously spread all over the room time and again, not to mention that Mom was afraid the brat would try to strangle himself in the string of lights that he kept pulling off the tree, Mom re-decorated. She wound the lights tightly around the trunk and she happened to find the perfect wooden box to put the tree into. It worked amazingly well. Now all she had to worry about was how many ornaments would find a gruesome death, but she had carefully chosen what not to put on the tree.
At least that's what she thought ...

Gnome girl was a favorite victim. I can't even count how many times der Dekan had snatched her off the tree before she lost a hand. I think he loved Mom putting her back because that way he could pull her off again.
And even today Mom just laughed when she saw her lying there, but at least she told her she was sorry for the brat being so mean to her.
What amazed me was that the string survived all of this.


Another ornament that couldn't get a break was the metal heart, but at least it was sturdy, other than the wooden ornament with the sleigh scene that unfortunately didn't survive (under circumstances not known yet, it is possible that der Dekan put it into Mom's way and she stepped on it with her amazingly big foot, but maybe der Dekan bit into it and broke it, it was very delicate).

You could put all of that down to a cat having just a little fun with a Christmas tree, but what happened next made me aware that somecat had decided to follow my lead from years ago.

Mom went up to the tree to check for "pineapple slices" to put back on their branches when she noticed that the wooden moose was hanging inside of the box instead outside. She pulled on him and ...


Oh yes, Mom, looks like somecat has seen The Godfather because this used to be a complete moose.
Be afraid, be very afraid.

You think that's it?
You are so wrong. Der Dekanfather gives you short breaks, but he doesn't stop.
With his latest victims still around, he went in for the next kill.



You can't see it, but it's Sleigh Ride's sibling Nativity. Mom managed just in time to save her and put her on a different branch that isn't so easy to reach from Mobster HQ.


I don't know about you, but somehow this picture doesn't exactly spell the word remorse.
If I were Mom, I would sleep with my eyes very wide open!


Oh, you want to know about me?
For now I'm just supervising. I have told the tree hello twice, but so quickly that Mom didn't get a chance to take a picture. I don't want to be seen with it and become a suspect in case of - whatever ...