Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Happy Valentine's Day!

There are several stories Mom loves to tell about special moments she's had with her cats.
The most important ones are probably in regards to Dude because he was the one who started it all by making Mom fall in love with him at first sight and therefore making it possible for us others to follow in his footsteps.

The first moment lasted about four hours which was the time Mom spent in the chair under the lemon tree holding. Four hours of strategic purring, loving on Mom and drooling on her shirt, convincing her they would have to find a way to get this boy (not so young anymore how they found out later) from California to Germany. Which they did, with the help of their friend in whose house he had been left behind by the previous residents, after her ex couldn't resist him either when it was his turn to meet him a week later.

The second moment came after he had been let out of the bedroom where he had been locked up to make sure he'd be there for his flight to Germany. The whole evening they had tried to get him back inside, not made easier by it being Halloween and the friend's cat being so territorial and chasing him (which was the reason for her not having been able to take him in fully).
The next morning, however, after worrying the whole night, Mom found him sitting on the neighbor's window sill and when she opened her arms, Dude walked right in and clung to her. She often says that the feeling was incredible and that she can still feel it when the memory comes up.

Another moment were 15 minutes of Madam Mim sitting on her lap. Mim loved being in the same room and she tolerated pets and short hugs, but she was not a lapcat. 15 minutes were all she gave Mom in her life, very precious 15 minutes, especially after knowing Mim had had some hard times in her life.

The moment Mom picked up sick baby Merlin from the post from where he was hissing at her in the attempt to convince her of his fierceness.

I could of course keep going with stories from my, let's call them ancestors, but also other cats Mom met in her life, but let's get to me now.
In May 2017, I moved in here. You may remember that I was really skinny and really tired and so glad to get off the streets. I learned to trust Mom, but I always had my boundaries. Petting, fine. Cuddling on the pillow on my terms, fine. Even belly pets are okay with me if I'm in the right mood. I have to draw lines, however. No picking up for cuddling, no carrying around - that means that if it happens now, it usually means vet or - not for a while now *knocking on wood* - medication. No holding down for medication, I'll rip your arm off and I'm not kidding. Ask Mom, she learned the hard way.
And like Mim, I'm not a lapcat. I may stand on Mom with my front paws on very rare occasions, usually if I'm very close to starvation, but I can count those times on one paw.

Today, though, I decided to give Mom a huge gift. She doesn't do Valentine's Day, not just because she's single, it's just not her thing, but now she will always remember this.
She had got cozy, den Dekan on her feet, what else, and ready to make a grocery order.
And then I walked up and sat on her chest.
She actually held her breath. This is not something I have ever done before and she couldn't believe it. She started petting me and I just sat there for a while.
Then I lay down. Guys, I honestly thought she'd lose it completely now.
I gave her our very own special moment - for two hours. She put away the laptop to give me more room and I used it. I purred, I groomed, I rolled around, I stretched out, I rolled up to a ball, I did the whole portfolio, even fell asleep twice, and I swear that Mom teared up a little because it made her so, so happy.
Her favorite game show was running in the background, it often makes her laugh out loud, but she was very careful not to belly laugh, so she wouldn't disturb me, instead she chuckled softly and even then she held me, so I wouldn't be startled by that.
There is no saying how much longer this could have gone on if someone hadn't needed an urgent trip. I could tell how much Mom hated having to coax me off her belly with promises of an extra snack, and now she keeps staring at me, still in disbelief.
I tell you one thing, that lady loves me, and there's nothing der Dekan can do about it. You want to know why I even mention him? Well, see for yourself ;-) He seems to have been wondering about what's going on, too!






Mom took more pictures and even tried to get a little video, but her arms were hardly long enough to manage anything at all as you can tell from the picture not showing my feet. So she's not showing them all, but she tried her best and you get the idea :-D
She told me she'd keep them all, anyway. Humans are so weird.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!

Saturday, December 9, 2023

An offer Mom can't refuse

Almost five years ago, Ponder told you about the Christmas Massacre. A very fond memory of mine and it's a shame that Mom has been so thorough about restricting my access to the Steiff woolies.
For years, she had been living in fear after that, calling me a mobster and gang member. Little did she know then what hardened criminal she would invite into her life only a few years later, being deceived by his little pot belly and his darling face.

He still has the belly and he sure can put on an innocent face while committing the most heinous crimes.
Today, for example ... wait, you need to know the whole story.
Against better knowledge, Mom had decided to put up a Christmas tree again this year. As if der Dekan had grown up during the last year. I mean, he has grown, but actually not in a way that a small Christmas tree would be able to appreciate when being tackled.
After the tree had fallen for the third time in four days and ornaments had been generously spread all over the room time and again, not to mention that Mom was afraid the brat would try to strangle himself in the string of lights that he kept pulling off the tree, Mom re-decorated. She wound the lights tightly around the trunk and she happened to find the perfect wooden box to put the tree into. It worked amazingly well. Now all she had to worry about was how many ornaments would find a gruesome death, but she had carefully chosen what not to put on the tree.
At least that's what she thought ...

Gnome girl was a favorite victim. I can't even count how many times der Dekan had snatched her off the tree before she lost a hand. I think he loved Mom putting her back because that way he could pull her off again.
And even today Mom just laughed when she saw her lying there, but at least she told her she was sorry for the brat being so mean to her.
What amazed me was that the string survived all of this.


Another ornament that couldn't get a break was the metal heart, but at least it was sturdy, other than the wooden ornament with the sleigh scene that unfortunately didn't survive (under circumstances not known yet, it is possible that der Dekan put it into Mom's way and she stepped on it with her amazingly big foot, but maybe der Dekan bit into it and broke it, it was very delicate).

You could put all of that down to a cat having just a little fun with a Christmas tree, but what happened next made me aware that somecat had decided to follow my lead from years ago.

Mom went up to the tree to check for "pineapple slices" to put back on their branches when she noticed that the wooden moose was hanging inside of the box instead outside. She pulled on him and ...


Oh yes, Mom, looks like somecat has seen The Godfather because this used to be a complete moose.
Be afraid, be very afraid.

You think that's it?
You are so wrong. Der Dekanfather gives you short breaks, but he doesn't stop.
With his latest victims still around, he went in for the next kill.



You can't see it, but it's Sleigh Ride's sibling Nativity. Mom managed just in time to save her and put her on a different branch that isn't so easy to reach from Mobster HQ.


I don't know about you, but somehow this picture doesn't exactly spell the word remorse.
If I were Mom, I would sleep with my eyes very wide open!


Oh, you want to know about me?
For now I'm just supervising. I have told the tree hello twice, but so quickly that Mom didn't get a chance to take a picture. I don't want to be seen with it and become a suspect in case of - whatever ...

Saturday, November 11, 2023

The fish drama

Hello and welcome from my bed (don't believe Mom when she tells you it's hers). I have torn my cruciate ligament in one knee - after tearing the one in the other knee some months ago - and now I'm on pain medication, resting my knee, having my meals delivered, sleeping, or watching what's going on around me.
It happened when I jumped up on the wardrobe a few nights ago.

That wardrobe has seen a lot over the years, but only in the last two years it has turned into a meeting point for gang members.


There is another gang on the East Side of the wardrobe, but der Dekan had a fallout with them after he threw one of them off without so much as a warning. No one was injured, but the mood was very icy afterwards. Count Dracula and Mr. Bones never approved of him, anyway. I wouldn't either if somecat kept trying to walk all over me.


Maybe der Dekan is made for a lonely thug life because this morning something shocking happened.
If you compare this picture to the first one, can you see the difference? It's true, before Mom's and my eyes Fluffy Red took a dive without any warning at all. He didn't make a sound which made it even more gruesome to watch.
This is the face we saw .... it made us shudder.


And when Mom told him she'd call the police, this was his reaction.
Does it look to you as if he has any regrets at all??



Thursday, October 19, 2023

The end is nigh?

All I wanted was a little five hour nap. We have construction going on right outside our house. It's loud, and every, now and then the house is vibrating. Mom is not happy. She said maybe it's her tinnitus that makes her extra nervous about those noises. I would have slept just fine through construction, but her being so jumpy made me jumpy, so I had to retreat to the library. It's one of my favorite spots. Fake fur, very comfy and, most important, usually rather quiet because der Dekan likes to stick to Mom like gum to a shoe.


Then I heard Mom in the kitchen and now she really didn't sound happy.
Next thing I know is a furry lightning disappearing under my TV chair.
"Is she coming?"


"Oh Dekan, what did you do now?"
"I threw the peeler off the counter."
"And?"
"And it broke."
"You broke Mom's bunny peeler??"
"It wasn't on purpose. How was I supposed to know it would break?"
"As if you even cared."
"You are right, I don't. For me everything is a toy. Nothing wrong about that, is there?"
"Mom loved that peeler. She got it as an extra with a cat food order and she absolutely loved how it felt in her hand and how well it peeled. That was 13 years ago or maybe even longer. She had hated all peelers before that. You are in trouble, dude."
Could this be the straw that broke the camel's back? Would she finally make good on all her threats and evict the little punk?
"I'm already in trouble and don't know why. Did you see what she bought 'especially for you, my little Dekan'? Low-fat food!!"
"But the good one. Maybe you shouldn't steal my food all the time."
"I'm from a farm. I was a tiny baby and very hungry."
"Not a tiny baby anymore. I came from the streets and was really skinny, but I know how to leave kibbles in the bowl for later. No one's going to take them away. No one except you!"
"I leave some of the new food in the bowl."
"For a while, yes. And then you eat them AND steal my leftovers. Another thing, maybe you should calm down about that kitchen kickboard. You know Mom hates having to get down and up and down and up."
"It's art."

Wanna see art?
One broken peeler (sorry about the bad picture, it was an emotional moment).


And here's the artist posing with his other work (yes, those are door stoppers, no, they don't help, but at least they keep the board from crashing loudly, another thing Mom's tinnitus can't stand ;-))


You can still bet on Mom throwing him out or not, by the way. What do you say?

Monday, September 11, 2023

Turf wars

If you think we have been very quiet, then you are half right. The blog half.
I have of course been a distinguished lady as always. I still like to hang out with my friend Leonie, I play very decently with the rainbow wand thingy (ignore Mom if she says that I too know how to use my claws), I sleep on my pillow or in my cat bed, and only on very rare occasions I have to pull Mom's hair in the morning if I am absolutely starving.


And I observe. I see. I know everything.
Lately Bruce, the shark, and der Dekan have been squabbling. Little things. Who gets the last kibble, who gets to tackle Mom on the way to the kitchen, who gets to jump on her belly when she is least expecting it, these kind of things.
Given that Bruce has no feet or paws, he usually doesn't have a chance and I could tell he was not happy about that.
Tension increased and it ended as it had to eventually, in the Shark Cat Turf Wars of 2023.
Of course I stayed out of it. If two young lads want to fight out, let them, I am too grown up and much too wise to get drawn into this.

This was one of the times when Mom thought it might actually have been nice to have a smartphone. Why on earth she didn't just turn the video on her camera on, no one knows, but I have to admit that the pictures tell the story quite nicely as well.
Mom couldn't even decide which ones to pick, so you'll just get all of them. Have fun!








Now you probably want to know who the winner was, don't you?
Believe it or not, those silly boys fell asleep from one second to the other. Literally.
Boom. Best friends again? What do you think? I have a faint feeling the peace won't be lasting for long ...

Friday, August 4, 2023

Plotting for world domination

We shall fight on the beaches ... since der Dekan seems to have the goal to eat until he looks like Churchill, it seems rather appropriate to borrow from his famous speech.
In fact, however, we shall not only fight on the beaches, but on land and water which is the reason for us inviting my friend, the shark, to this little meeting.

We tried to make it look harmless, but something in Mom's eyes told me she didn't trust the peace. Der Dekan, who for good reason is the muscle (and belly!) of the operation while I am obviously the brain, came a little too close. He sat on me!
I could either get up right away and hiss at him or look extremely cute to make Mom think I have finally learned to tolerate the little creep. I opted for a mix of the two. For ten, fifteen minutes, I was cute while cursing den Dekan on the inside. I do have to admit, however, that he didn't play his part too badly. There were no stupid attempts to bite my neck or lick my ears, and no slap attacks.
Well, and Bruce - all sharks in this house are called Bruce - has been a cool dude from the very start.

When I finally decided we had had a good first meeting and needed to split to keep it believable, I gave him one short hiss and he got up and walked away, just like that.
Now if Mom weren't such an extremely suspicious woman! I guess it has to do with all those years of cats around here.

No worries, though. We can lurk for a very long time until we finally pounce.
We've got this!






P.S. I don't care much for Mom calling us The Gang now, though ...

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

I'm still afraid of no shark

Shortly after I moved in here, Ponder had a talk with Mom about me "being dangerous" and producing this photo of me and one of my shark friends for proof.


I wish I could show him in person that I'm still befriending sharks like this one that swam into the house today, on a wave of humidity, no doubt (seriously, it's hot!).
Look, Ponder! Mom says hi. We miss you.