Thursday, July 19, 2012

Pink???? Pink!!!!

I'm a totally manly man. Everyone knows that. Just look at me. M-A-N. MAN!

 So the following talk should never have taken place.

"There you go. Brandnew litterboxes."
"They have three colors, but you get what's next on the pile, so pink, yes."
"Now what's the problem? Would you have preferred the light blue or the kiwi green?"
"We used to have a decent dark blue and burgundy red with grey. Decent's the word. Do I look like a pink kind of guy to you? Don't sigh at me, answer my question."
"Actually I think it looks great with your black fur. Not that I intend to take pictures of you in your litterbox ... which you should be very grateful for."
"Making fun of me does NOT make this better. You are walking on very thin ice."
"Are you threatening me?"
"Could be."
"So what do you have in mind. You don't think of boycotting the boxes, do you?"
"I am not going to tell you. Just expect whatever whenever."
"You know I am the hand that's feeding you, right?"
"You know I am the claw that could get you in your sleep, right? You'd make for a fine meal for a few days."
"Says the cat who is super picky about his food."
"I have priorities. My male pride is one of them."
"Ok, maybe I'll get a box just for you. I saw a nice one at the shop. Dark blue."
"Why are you giggling? What's going on in your small human mind now?"
"Well, the blue has glitter in it."

That was when I turned around to go and shred something. I can only take so much.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Don't touch!

"Ponder, stop that!" "Greebo, will you please stop?" "Don't you dare destroying my boxes!" "Nooo, it's enough now." "I'm going to sell you, I swear." "What's wrong with you today??" "If you scratch the books in that box, you are going out the window in a second, Mister."
And so on and on and on ....

Why is the crazy lady always yelling at Greebo and me?
"Excuse me, but I'm not yelling at the girls because they don't go after the boxes, they are happy to lie on top." "Yeah, sure, 'cos they are boring. There is stuff in there, interesting stuff. I just know it, it's waiting for me to discover it." "Don't be silly. You know all of that stuff, you have been hanging out in my shelves and cabinets often and long enough." "Not in the nature section, I haven't." "Nature is not even packed up yet. You didn't give the Peanuts books so much as a glance when they were still piled on your cat tower, now you constantly try to get in there and I do not like scratched covers, do you hear me? Do you??" "Nag, nag, nag ... all you can do lately is nag. Yesterday you were all over Meffi and me for some harmless ..." "See, I'm not just yelling at Greebo and you. And some harmless hissing and screeching, not even talking about your banshee act in the empty room??" "Great acoustics, I swear." "We don't do midnight concerts here, Mister Opera Singer. Not if there are people trying to sleep one floor down. Not if I am trying to sleep next door." "WE don't. I do." "No, you don't. And stay away from my glasses. You are crazy. What's the fun in biting my glasses. I'll be lost if these break as well. Wait, is that what you want? Get the human out of the picture? You do know about that opposable thumb thing, don't you?" "You are getting paranoid, lady. Here, let me give you a nose kiss." "Oh man, you always know how to do it, eh? Come here, crazy boy, mmm, you are so nice and soft. Of course you are not plotting against me."

And please don't try to tell me humans are not weird.