My name is Stop It - A serious talk between cat and human

Seriously, some days I really feel that way.
I am singing the famous aria "I'm starving" from the cat opera "The Starving Cat" - stop it.
I am trying to surprise Meffi by reaching through the wooden bars of the chair she is lying on - stop it.
I am getting comfortable on Mom's arm while she is writing on the computer - stop it.
I am snuggling up to Mom during what she calls a heat wave - stop it.

Granted, she doesn't say it right away, but does it make it better that it's after the fifth attempt?

Now Meffi has the "Queen's Rights". I have never seen them written down anywhere, but it seems to me this virtual Book of Rights has become much heavier since Meffi got sick. She is allowed to do anything anywhere anytime.

"Ehem."
"Go away, Mom, you have your own blog."
"Ponder, you know that Meffi doesn't behave as crazy as you."
"Is it crazy to lie down on top of you?"
"You hardly ever lie down, you jump back and forth again and again, and although you are a wonderful jumper, you choose to stomp on my stomach, ribs or other delicate parts of my body. I won't even mention that you weigh more than twice as much as Meffi and that you are the size of a panther."
"Sheesh, and you keep telling me that I like to overact and exaggerate."
"A little panther."
"She shed on your stuff in the dryer. All you did was laugh and take a picture."
"I never told you to stop shedding and I laughed because she hasn't hidden there from me for a long time."
"You looked like a fool searching for her."
"I also look like a fool if I search for you."
"You never do. I could just disappear and you wouldn't even know."
"I don't search for you because you hardly ever hide. Your favorite place is the scratching ton or the cat tree's cave."
"She's getting special food."
"Which she doesn't like much. She'd rather eat what you have."
"I'll swap."
"No, you won't. She needs her special food because she is sick."
"Is that why you love her more?"
"I don't, Ponder. Remember when you were sick last time? I cared for you as well then."
"You kept putting stinky herbal cream on me!"
"Which was good for you."
"You took me to the vet's. I don't like going there."
"Everyone on the street and at the vet's could hear you. Maybe even creatures from other galaxies."
"So you don't love Meffi more than us others?"
"No, but she is still the Queen and has the Queen's Rights. You are my supervisor and my snuggle bug and my panther. Greebo is the crazy cow cat that sleeps on my head. Esme is the (not so) little princess."
"My name is not Stop It."
"I know. How about you try to be a little less crazy sometimes and I try not to tell you to stop it so often?"
"Deal. Can I lie on your arm now?"
"It's 5,000° out there. You will be glued to me, so the answer is no."
"I'll be on the ton if you are looking for me."
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Ponder?"
"Yes?"
"I love you, all of you, even though you do your best to drive me nuts."
"You already are."

P.S. The dryer does look kind of comfy, doesn't it? Perfect for my Queen. Don't tell her or Mom I said that. I have a reputation to lose.

Love

You may remember that I always try to join in the blog carnival of Mom's forum, the Jewelry Artisans Community.
This month's theme is love. What comes to mind first of course is my love to Meffi, my Queen. I still haven't given up hope. Since she's on meds and feeling better again, she is much more patient with me, too. Who knows, maybe one day ...
I decided to dedicate this post to someone else, though. They were the true lovebirds in this house and although it stings a bit, I'll show you a picture of them, Meffi and Merlin who will never be forgotten.

Wanna see what humans have to say about love? Check it out here!

Bead Sophisticate
Jewelry Art by Dawn
Cat's Wire

Property

What's mine is mine, and what's yours is in fact mine as well.
Remember that, humans. You don't own anything. You are our bankers, our cleaning staff, our gardeners, our cooks, our entertainers.
You take care of our land, you buy our food from our money that we allow you to earn for us, you manage the things that we don't have time for because we have more important things to do.

Sadly Mom has still not understood this principle. "Move over, that's my spot in my bed, you can have the other side." "This is my sandwich and for once I want to eat it in peace! You don't even like this cheese." (Who is she to tell us what cheese we like or not? That's only going to make us sniff the piece she gives us after all and then leave.)
Today it was "This is my computer chair and I have to do things."
Let's take this from the beginning. Ever since Mephista The Wonderful is on drugs, ok, on meds, she's not the same anymore. Oh, she can still stand up to all of us and hiss and yell, but she has become more mellow and generous in her behavior. I have hope again that one day she'll be all mine. Sorry, I'm digressing. One of the changes is that she is turning into a regular lap cat. She had given that up many years ago, even before she got sick, so it was no small surprise to Mom to be honored with the presence of the Queen in her lap so often now. Both she and Meffi seem to enjoy it a lot. It would cut into my own computer time with Mom, but lately I have taken to sleep in a special spot on the bed. Gotta keep those humans on their toes and change habits from time to time, right?

Today Mom was packing up parcels. She's not the fastest horse in the stable, I can tell you that. Well, she got up to fetch something, turned back around and saw this.

"Meffi, this is my computer chair and I have to do things. You can sit on my lap."

"Is someone talking? I can't hear anyone."
"Meffi, seriously, move over just a little, so I can sit down."

"I can't even see anyone."
"Meffi!! Come on, time is running!!"

"Enough now, inferior human. You are about to cross a line here, and you might want to think before you really do it."

As I said, the Queen is a generous one now, however. After a while she gave in and graciously allowed Mom to sit in the chair where she has been stuck for about an hour now - her words, not mine, I think she should be overwhelmed by the honor - with Meffi in her lap.

Coming to an end

The year is coming to an end, not me. Not this blog, either, although you maybe thought so. Gosh, I have been lazy lately. And clingy. Mom says I'm extremely clingy, and she's right. It's probably the weather. It feels good to snuggle up to a human who keeps telling you how good it feels to snuggle up to a cat.
Until she's freaking out, that is. She has that from time, telling us (Greebo is usually on the other side while the girls hang out in a bit of distance) that she can't breathe anymore and that she needs to move. It usually doesn't last long before she's back with us again.

Meffi is so much better now, and she makes the pill giving pretty easy for Mom ... we'll see how long that will last.
She even took up lap sessions which she hadn't done for the longest time, in fact since Mom got her own desk which has been years.
Isn't she a little beauty?

Now that she's gaining weight again, Esme and I have no scruples stealing her food if we think it's better than ours. Or if we were too fast cleaning off our own plate. Or just for the heck of it.
Too bad the paparazza was there ...

A lot of you already know it. We had to say goodbye to our beloved Buster bunny.
It came as a complete surprise and it went fast, too fast. I miss my little buddy and I also know Mom is still very sad. She can't talk about him without tearing up. Her friend Heather (the other half of the HeatherCats) painted a picture after one of Buster's photos. It's just how I imagine him. He's probably snuggling up to Merlin right this second, lying in the grass in the sun.
You won't be forgotten, Buster, that's for sure.

Rollercoaster

Life has been a rollercoaster around here lately. The worst of all was the scare that my beautiful lady gave us, though.
Mom was convinced that this was it, but just when she decided she couldn't let Meffi suffer any longer, the Queen showed her clearly who makes the decisions in this house, and it's definitely not the human. She got up and had a bite to eat.
Now she gets a pill a day, is generally being adorable except when I annoy her, and glares at Mom when she tries to put her eye meds in. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Two different eye meds five times a day because she managed to get a little wound in her eye. It's a lot better now, thank Bast, and they are down to three times a day.

Meffi in her favorite hideout these days, the tub. It has been reported that it's quite a sight when Mom is sitting in the tub, trying to get a good grip at Meffi doing her weasel impression. Sorry for the bad pic, the lighting was suboptimal that evening.

Mom keeps asking me why cats are so difficult if their humans just want to help them.
The answer is easy. We are cats!!

First floor - Cat art, flower magnets and private booths

First of all, my dear friends, I want to wish you a Happy New Year. I can't believe it has already been three weeks that I talked to you. Time flies by ... and things change.

Mom says we cats change all the time. She means she can't keep up with us. She hasn't even found out about my new favorite spot for example which is a good thing. I like to be able to disturb her, but there's no need for her to disturb me.
Meffi is different. Gee, the little lady talks up a storm these days. And of course Mom has not the slightest clue what she's talking about. Just one thing is clear. After Meffi hasn't been interested in one spot for a long time, she has suddenly changed her mind about that.
Just look at her. Doesn't she deserve to get anything she wishes for?

Now look at this. I think it was designed to be a shopping basket. Mom hates baskets for shopping, she'd rather run around with a million totes hanging from her hands, shoulder and neck if necessary than with one basket.
Nowadays this basket is
- a cat car
- a cat plane
- a private cat booth
- a cat lift

So if you wondered about today's post title, let me tell you the whole story from the beginning.
One fine day Meffi decided to use the fridge as her headquarters. She had her cat bed up there and whenever I tried to come by for a harmless little visit, she could see me from far and alert Mom by hissing, spitting and growling.
Then, after months, she moved back under the stairs where she had had her favorite hideout before. Mom didn't like that at all because Meffi liked to throw fits if she was in the mood, even if we just, ehem, walked by her with no intentions at all. It didn't do much for the peace in this house.
Meffi moved back into the kitchen, but not on the fridge. She had her spot with her cat bed and the Queen took her meals alone, not like us other three who were left to fight about each crumb we were lucky to get ("Ponder!!!! Enough now!!!! You don't want me to take a picture of your lucky little fat belly, do you?? ~ Mom).

Ignore the lady behind the curtain. The point is that a few days ago Meffi started dancing around, chattering and making pretty clear she wanted to get up on the fridge. She seemed not to be sure about that last jump - unfortunately my lady isn't as great a jumper as she used to be and sometimes she stops in the last second - so Mom put her up there.
Since then it has been an up and down and the easiest way for both of them since Mom is short and Meffi never really liked to be held is the cat lift ... which then turns into a private booth as soon as it's on the fridge. Smart, huh?
The Queen gets everything she wants in this house, so I wouldn't surprised if the kitchen would soon get furnished with an armchair, a TV and possibly a snack machine!!

Kitty cats

My my, aren't we a handsome lot?
This is the collage Mom and her sister are using for a card to send to one of their vets who moved away. They didn't get the chance to say goodbye themselves, so they let us do it.
Much better than using pictures of themselves, don't you think?

P.S. Mom said she'd make one resolution for the new year, by the way. She wants to ban the words "Stop that now" from her vocabulary. I wonder if we can make a deal that each time she says it she has to give me a treat or something. I'm quite I'd be rich!

Here comes the bride ...

... and she's just a little shy. Not that I see any need for that, doesn't she look gorgeous?

 

I do think however that the people who were responsible for the veil should have attached it more carefully.

CSI: Göppingen

It seemed to be an ordinary day in the little Swabian town. People went to work, came from work, went to sleep or got up, got something to eat and lived their ordinary little lives, more or less.
None of the unsuspecting passers-by could have known what would happen in one of their town's ordinary little streets.

Nothing was ordinary about this crime. It was committed in complete silence. It was committed without scruples by a criminal as cold as ice. Someone who knew his job. Someone who let nothing stop him. He came, he hit, he left.

Shortly after the CSI squad appeared on the scene. Only a very trained observer would have noticed the tiny moment of shock they experience when being confronted with the crime scene.
The case is in the paws of Mr. P. Stibbons now who refused to give us an interview at this point of the investigation.

We only got a short statement from Mr. Stibbons' assistant, Ms. M.Ephista, who told us that the possibility of it being an insider job is not ruled out at the moment.

The Jungle Queen

Two blog posts in one day, I know that's hard to believe. This is definitely the day of the girls however. Adorable? Of course. Dangerous? You bet. You don't believe me?
Meet the Queen of the Jungle waiting for the unsuspecting prey. Too bad a paparazza kept the prey away, well, bad for the mighty tiger called Mephista (Meffi would sound much too harmless here), good for me who is now able to once more show you the love of my life.
Honestly, who could resist that gorgeous lady?

2012

Weird things have been happening in Pondertown, I already told you about some of them. Big changes are lying ahead of us.

I should have known, there have been strange signs. I'm not an augur, I don't read the innards of small critters - mostly because Mom won't let me visit the gerbils (even if I was allowed to supervise the cage cleaning today) eye to innards - but seriously, in all of my seven years on Earth this is something I haven't seen before.
Not that it lasted for long, but long enough for Mom to grab her camera and save the memory for future generations.

Meffi and Greebo underneath the desk, side by side, furs touching. I think I'll better surf the internet for some good spaceship offers now!!

The tiger(s) and the panther

Right at this moment a tiger girl is sleeping under Dad's desk. It's amazing, suddenly Meffi is hanging out up here all the time. Of course that means Esme lost one of her favorite sleeping spots, but she prefers the bed much more these days anyway.
It also means I get growled at a lot more often, but that's a side effect I gladly accept if it means my goddess is near me. I keep staring at her because I still can't believe it.

Last night she refreshed her acquaintance with her big friend, Mr. Big Tiger.

I'll tell you something. Panthers shouldn't interfere when tigers have a chat. Can you tell by Meffi's look?

"Maybe the laser eyes do the trick. Don't mess with me, Esme, or you'll regret it."

My sister doesn't give up that easily. It's a family trait. We call it perseverance, Mom calls it annoying.
No one tries to mess with Meffi for long, though. Usually she is the one with a tail fluffed up to look bigger than her whole tiny body, roaring like a fiend from the underworld, chasing us.
Esme gave in. Naturally.

(Mom says that Meffi wasn't growling, but biting Mr. Big Tiger's whiskers She also told me that she is tired of us molesting the poor guy and that she can't understand why we are all so obsessed with those whiskers. Well, she's only human, poor creature. How could she understand?)

Memories

Yesterday we had a blood bath here. No worries, everyone is ok. It was an accident. During a little fight Meffi's ear was punctured. Mom has her experiences with that from when she took blood from Merlin's ear to check his blood sugar. That was a blood bath as well sometimes.
Only she didn't know this time it was the ear because Meffi shook her head all over the place which means there were spots of blood everywhere (including the wallpaper and the Steiff lamb's leg, oops).
Meffi got some of the infamous herbal cream put on her ear and things were ok again.

This inspired Mom to pull up some of the old pictures to show us how much friendlier we used to be with each other. It's true, those cuddly times have gone. Not that we don't snuggle anymore, but not as long as we used to. She still thinks it was Merlin's good influence and she's probably right.
Wanna see what she's talking about?

Merlin, Greebo and me - are we adorable or what?

Merlin and  Greebo

Merlin cleaning me

Esme and me - much younger then (can you believe we'll be 7 this year??)

Greebo and me

Gandalf and Greebo

And of course the lovebirds Merlin and Meffi

This was before Esme and I came along (a long time ago, just look at that video cassette on the floor!) when Mom had her first incredibly expensive and pretty lousy digital camera

Of course there are more pictures, but you know how it is when old people tell their stories "When I was young, I had to walk to school in 4 feet of snow, barefoot, 15 miles only on a piece of bread for the whole day" ... we just walked off and let her ramble ;-)

Special edition

Big things have been happening in this house. Not once, not twice, but three times and at the moment I don't see an end to it yet. That actually makes me very happy because the big thing is that Meffi started coming back upstairs for longer than 45 seconds!
Therefore this post is dedicated to her which is a good thing as you hardly ever get to see pictures of her. Mom had a lot more snapshots, but with many hmms and pooohs and oh mys she finally cut it down to the ones I'm showing you now.

It's amazingly funny how a human can freak out about a cat making her way upstairs. "My camera! My camera!" Did she think I would fetch it for her? There is this opposable thumb issue, you know.
Of course I kept my cool. Against general belief in this house I did not stare with an open mouth. I did not try to get near that gorgeous tigress and give up in a pathetic way dropping on the floor and rolling around because I didn't know what else to do when she wouldn't let me. I observed, calm and collected as always and only had a slightly condescending smile for Greebo who followed her in disbelief when she did her rounds.

A good spot to see who's coming upstairs

The window sills downstairs are nicer

I can see you, but you can't see me, hehe.

Those shawls are new and I wasn't even asked to help picking them!

Beware the Shadow of the Tigress!

Editing a picture of Dad holding Esme, very interesting. She might have to pay for that.

What's that up there? Cat painting? Why do they need fake cats, they got me!

The boss of the house! (More like a seriously confused Ponder, believe me, he was too funny - Mom)

For those who wondered about Esme taking over Dad's lap - here she is

There's a new box in town

And it's a great one! It hasn't made its way downstairs yet, so I don't know if Meffi will like it (hm, do you think I should give it to her for Christmas?) and Greebo hasn't tried it yet as he prefers the bed at the moment, but Esme and I for once agree ... it's great!
You can use it both ways as you can see and you can either just sit on it or have a nice grooming session in it.

This is when it came out of the "Vertiko" (not a typo, I don't mean vertigo, this is a piece of furniture) that I love so much that I am constantly trying to get in there. I just knew there was some good stuff in it!
Let me show you a few pictures.

Mom cleaned out the Vertiko from paper stuff and I helped.

You can lie or sit, nothing like a flexible piece of cat box furniture.

Sit on the lid, sit in the box, the butt feeling is definitely different. Believe an expert.

Esme being slightly smaller than me (not talking about her belly, hehe) prefers to use all of the lid.

Bendy Esme! This resulted in a big sigh from Mom who wishes she could even touch her toes when standing. Humans, when will they understand we are so much more talented than they are?

You want to know what else is new in Ponder's Kingdom?

Well, as you can see I am always ready to nip insubordination in the bud (or in the butt in this case!). Esme is just as curious as I am, but sorry, girl, this is MINE! There's no picture of it, but right the next second I had a good pounce at her, she gave me a good hiss and growl and we rolled around on the floor for a bit. The picture came out blurry and before Mom could set her camera to video, it was all over already.

Here you have proof of attempted murder. Mom was glad that Esme (yup, not me, I swear) did this during the day. And while I usually get up (96 % of all times that I'm in the way on the stairs), Esme didn't budge. She's really funny since she's on drugs and makes her people wonder a lot if they really got the right cat back at the vet's. She still takes her pills without much of a problem, she started to like being picked up and snuggled, but there's one thing that hasn't changed ... yesterday Mom starting whistling without noticing herself. She sure did notice when Esme came running into the room yelling as if someone was trying to take her catnip toy! Esme could hardly calm down for a while after Mom stopped. I know she's not much of a whistler, but wow, what a reaction!
Oh, by the way, the murder attempt came before the whistling ;-)

Next I'll show you a Christmas miracle. Meffi made her way upstairs once again! Isn't she just adorable? I really, really wish ... maybe Santa Claus can do something for me ... I love her so much, even when she's hissing at me like a madcat ...

She did NOT freak out when Esme went by her. Sheesh.

You are pretty much up-to-date now, just one last picture. Let me show you what to do if you really, really had enough (of whatever).
I saw Mom peeking at the Santa Claus hat, I think I'll practise that look a bit more now.