Happy Gotcha Day, I guess

"You have to write something."
"Why?"
"First, you haven't done it last year and you always ignore his birthday. Second, you have become quite lazy with the blog."
"Gee, woman, nothing is happening here!"
"There might be happening something if you didn't sleep so much."
"Hey hey, listen to the pot calling the kettle black."
"Back to Gotcha Day. I told your story on my blog for it this year."
"And on his birthday you told the story about how the brat moved in. What more does he want?"
"Come on, it would just be nice to do it."

So, here I am now thinking.
I never thought cats could get writer's block because, to be honest, I'm not even sure how I got to be a writer in the first place. When I told Mom nothing is happening here, I wasn't so wrong. I don't even want that much to be happening here, you know. It was hard enough when der Dekan moved in.

You know how they say a vampire has to get invited in order to be able to come into a house? Der Dekan claims he was just as much of an abductee as I was. I'm not so sure about that. I think he did one of those vampire mind tricks to convince Mom's neighbor.
Yeah, he's not officially a vampire although he can sure be a biter. Not with me usually. If I feel he's in hunting mode which is not that often, I just growl at him. Mom, on the other hand, keeps saying "Stop it". Der Dekan probably thinks that's his name, that and "Enough now!" Oooh, scary. As if he cares 😹

***

If you wonder now how you missed this important update ... well, I cheated.
I did write this four months ago and then I stopped and forgot about the draft. I just found it again by accident and decided to publish it with the originally intended date.
At least I'm honest about it.
You know, shortly after I started it, summer came and felled us. Literally. We fell like trees, only not as loud. Although Mom claims that she actually worked all summer, I have absolutely no recollection of that. She says that's because we slept all the time and didn't even notice that she did everything to keep us fed and all that. Yeah, I don't even want to judge that. As we like to say here "she can tell me a lot if the day is long".

Anyway, we are back. That's a threat. With butter on the nose.

Happy Gotcha Day!

Two years. Can you believe it has been two full years since my life has changed because THIS had been brought to our door??

Oh yeah, he was so small and he was so cute and he was such a **** from the start. Well, I only really met him after about ten days, but then I knew my quiet days were over. Mom said she wanted me to have a feline companion, but honestly, I think I could well have done without a fuzzy whirlwind trying to take all my spots and eat all my food.
Der Dekan was a bit like a shark caught in an eternal feeding frenzy. Thinking about it, he still is a lot of times, but for me that means I get breakfast earlier than I used to, so I won't complain. Also what he has actually learned is that he won't steal my food while I am eating which is a source of neverending surprise for Mom as he's not that well behaved when she is eating.

We have learned to get along. Every, now and then he chases me, sometimes it's like a ritual which is about the running and not the catching.
There are those rare times when he jumps me full force and I have to screech like a banshee (do they screech or is that owls?) and some fur is flying and Mom keeps yelling "Dekan! Leave her alone!", but it really doesn't happen often.

Mom thinks it would be nice if we slept all cuddled up, but I am an independent woman and also I got Mr. Radish.
I let den Dekan groom me sometimes which I couldn't stand at all in the beginning, so who knows, maybe once Mr. Radish has been slobbered on one time too much and leaves, things will change.

What I like best about the brat, however, is the way he has with Mom. He can turn from cute into a killer in a second and the other way round (Mom still can't believe how humming the Skye Boat song calms him down right away every time he's in biting mode, in her version of the song she has been humming to all her animal companions for decades), from really smart to incredibly dumb.
He certainly keeps her on her toes, makes her despair, but also makes her laugh, and I sit and watch from the sidelines thinking it serves her right ;-)

Well, Dekan. Happy Gotcha Day. I know you'll get a good treat (which isn't difficult to do because almost everything is a good treat to him). You are okay. Never forget, though, who's the boss here.
And for Bast's sake, stop sleeping on the job!

Hunter or thief?

I have lived in the streets. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and decided to never go back after Mom offered me a warm bed, armchairs, rugs, and blankets almost exactly five years ago. Yup, on May 23rd, we ladies celebrated the best thing that has ever happened to Mom (and I don't care if she's trying to tell me about her other gotcha stories).
Der Dekan didn't celebrate. He didn't have time for it, there are always things to do.
That's fine with me, I like my special time with Mom. She tells me how beautiful I am - true - how lucky she was to get a gorgeous girl like me - true - and she even gave me bits of cheese - don't tell anyone, I'm not really supposed to have it, but there were no bad consequences, so don't scold her. Of course she can't resist me. Who can?
Anyway, I know where I want to stay and what I want to do and don't want to do.
I don't steal, I'm sweet, I'm as loyal as I can be, and I don't steal. Oops, did I say that twice? You know where I'm getting at, do you ..... Let me tell you a story.

It was two weeks ago.
Mom was in a whiny mood because her back had gone back out some time before, and although she could already perform the important tasks around the house again - food and water for us and our litterboxes - she still walked like an 80 year old and moaned so much that it was kind of hard to nap in peace.
Suddenly I heard her laugh out, though.
Apparently, she had looked for something in her underwear drawer and found a black undershirt that she had only worn once or twice in years, so she decided that it was time to get rid of it. She put it down next to her, but when she was done and turned around, the shirt had gone.
As it's rather a rare event for shirts to go walking on their own, she immediately knew her main suspect. He was rather small, had stripes and had been a hardcore criminal since his early youth.
When she went looking for the culprit, this is what she saw ...

A feeble attempt at hiding the goods in the usual place, his "play rug".

As she followed him through the flat, still laughing, the criminal still tried to escape with the loot. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth between the hallway and the rug - no doubt hoping for the door to freedom to open which didn't happen.

Slippery PVC is every thieving kitty's enemy, especially if both his front feet are on a shirt that makes it even worse. I really wish there were a video of this because I have to admit it made me laugh, too.
It looked to me as if this escape had not been planned very well.

In the end, the shirt ended up on the play rug from where it disappeared shortly after. Believe it or not, but it hasn't been found yet ......

Now you tell me. Is der Dekan a mighty hunter as Mom claims or is he just the little thief that I take him for?