Shhhhh ....

 ..... hey. Here! No, don't turn around, it's too obvious. Can you hear me? It's me, der Dekan, I sneaked in here. Gundel is sleeping, so I thought I'd test my computer skills. Mom says that I'm a computer wizard like Ponder (although we all know that Ponder became one just by getting that name, it's a kind of magic).

She deserves her sleep. Start of the week, Mom dragged her to the vet to have her butt squeezed, very undignified I would imagine. The next few days she very casually petted her only to apply some gel to her butt. I swear I wouldn't have been as good-natured about it as Gundel was. Mom is really going too far often enough. All that petting when I'm not ready for it and sometimes she even picks me up - to throw me out of a room!! I'm not kidding.
The nice part is that Gundel has to take her tablet every day at the moment and that means liquid snack time for both of us. It would be nice if Gundel had to take a tablet twice a day, just for the snack of course! I wonder if I convince Mom to cut the thing up, so it will be twice a day ...

What Gundel doesn't know yet but I overheard is that she will even have to stay at the vet's for one night to have something done the next day. I wonder if that means Mom will let me have the whole can  of food that night instead of the half. Probably not, she keeps saying all I can think of is food.
That's not true, I often think of knocking stuff off tables, too! This week I knocked a few DVD boxes off the player, that was fun.

What I really came here for, though, was to share some new pictures of The Avengers with you. Do you remember them - Mr. John Steed and Mrs. Emma Peel? They are the feline supervisors of one of Mom's sisters and here Gundel told me about them and showed me pictures.
Back then I asked Gundel if I would ever grow so big and become a good jumper.
She keeps telling me I'm still pretty much an okay jumper, at least regarding high jumps, but that I have grown big into the wrong direction because I'm always thinking about food - mmh, food .... snacks .... I wonder what Mom will eat tonight and if I can convince her gently to give me some .... oh, erm, yeah, big and handsome as Johnny.

Of course I keep contact to all the VIC (very important cats) and just the other day Johnny sent me the new pictures. That looks like a very fun window sill/couch/blanket combination, I wish I had something that nice!!

Hey, sis!

See, if you fall off the window sill, you still get a perfect landing!

Paparazzi, paparazzi ... when will they leave me alone?

Peekaboo!

Winner of the 2023 Super Relax World Cup

I am Johnny, hear me roaaaaar!

A long window sill for a long Emma

Wanted???

Can you believe what I found today??
A Wanted poster. If your guess is that der Dekan is in it for a new crime, you are wrong. No, it's my beautiful face in the picture!
"Wanted for letting her little brother corrupt her and subsequent kitchen vandalizing"
Have you ever heard something that stupid? What does Mom think, that she's funny, a Wild West sheriff, a bounty hunter? Has she watched "El Dorado" once too often?

Oh, you want to know what my "crime" was? Well, I may have pulled on the board underneath the kitchen cabinets. Just a little, you know. In an ingenious (she wishes!) attempt to keep den Dekan from ripping out those boards constantly, she has lined up a whole bunch of door stoppers along those two boards.
You may remember this picture of the artist with his work from his 2023 exhibition.

After looking for new ways to wreak havoc for a while, der Dekan went back to his roots and back to his boards and door stoppers. The first time he did it after his creative break, Mom almost locked him in because he had decided to check out what was behind those boards and she hadn't noticed him being in there.
Having grown (sideways) since then, he has even more power and he likes to knock over the stoppers and then pull. At least that's Mom's theory because she can't imagine he can pull so hard that the stoppers fall over by themselves. Her naivete is charming at times.

Then she started suspecting me having a paw in this as well. She just wasn't sure if der Dekan did the preliminary work and I just played with I got because she heard me knocking around stoppers and the little center thingy that holds the two boards together (or not :-D ) or if I was to blame in full, especially because it happened several times during a short time period.

Last night, however, she caught me. She knew the boards were in place when she was last in the kitchen and der Dekan went with her to settle on her legs. I tried to calm her by sitting on her chest, but when I left and she heard the typical sound from the kitchen, the game was up.
I should have waited until der Dekan had got up, too! I guess I was just too excited. I have practiced the pulling for months on Mom's hair and am a pro at it, but it was much more fun to have den Dekan being blamed for my kitchen fun.

To add insult to the injury for getting caught and having the door locked overnight, however, she put up that poster. Have you seen the reward she's offering??
When I confronted her, she said she couldn't offer more because everyone knew where I was, anyway - on my personal pillow throne in bed - and if I didn't understand a joke.

Oh my darling Mom, the joke will be on you. Just you wait, just you wait.

Interview with a Christmas tree

Gundel: Mr. Christmas Tree, thank you for being here today and sharing your story.

Mr. Tree: To be honest, I would have preferred to talk to someone who has not been part of my traumatic experience over the last few weeks.

Gundel: I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I would, however, like to apologize on behalf of my little brother. He had a hard kittenhood and is still struggling at times.

Mr. Tree: HE is struggling? With what other than his weight? Have you ever been tackled by that little brute? Oh wait, you have, haven't you? And this hard kittenhood lasted all of what, six weeks? After which he started to be spoilt more than all of the royal corgis together.

Gundel: What happens between my little brother and me, is none of your business. How our Mom chooses to spoil us or not, is none of your business. Also you should be very careful about throwing insults around. Can we please get back to the topic now?

Mr. Tree: I'll be very happy to and hope both you and your "little brother" - neither little nor your actual brother if I may say so - will be taking responsibility for the vicious attacks not only on my life.
Look at me, I have been reduced to a mere light holder, unloved, deprived of my ornaments and the company of my dear friends, my branches drooping from the attacks which still haven't stopped completely.

Gundel: By usual standards, you would already have been taken down and confined to your box again. Aren't you glad about being able to shine your lights a little longer? Mom says you make her very happy.

Mr. Tree: Oh, I make her happy, do I? How about asking her how much she's interested in making me happy? I got feelings too, you know.
Are you aware that four of my gnome friends are currently missing and there hasn't even been sent out a search party yet, no doubt because the human knows only too well who abducted them and left them in some corner, but doesn't want to admit it.
Would you at least put up this poster?
I can't be sure it's exactly these four who are missing because the others have been locked away in a cabinet before I could take statements, but the family resemblance should help.

Gundel: Alright, alright. I'll put it up and maybe I'll have a little stroll and look for them myself.
Thank you for the interview, Mr. Tree.

Mr. Tree: Wait, I'm not finished ye.... hey, don't you dare ignore me ... hellooooo?

Gundel: Oh Mooooom! Didn't you say you finally wanted to pack up the tree? I would help, but I gotta find them wee gnomes ....

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Well, yeah, it's not actually that new anymore, I think I can already see the first creases and small stains, but nevertheless, I hope it will be a good one for you, happy, healthy, peaceful, and of course full of cat hair. Or dog hair if you prefer that although I think nothing can beat a lovely cat hair in your cheese sandwich, your tea or your glass of water. I may be biased here.

Time has run since we were last awake, went to sleep on Christmas and woke up today. Nah, I'm kidding. Der Dekan and I do actually get up for food, but since Mom had a very lazy vacation time, we felt we could put in one or the other nap as well.

Now we are trying to get back on track with all the important things we have to do around here, mostly supervise Mom, she would be totally lost without our valuable advice on all the things she's doing wrong!
One of them was going back to work again today. Going may be a bit exaggerated as she's working from home and therefore has the shortest commute ever, but she did indeed work.
While I enjoyed not being smooched all the time against my will - although I don't mind Mom telling me what a beautiful lady I am because that's just the truth - der Dekan is such a Mama's child.
He felt terribly neglected, can you tell? (Actually you can't because this is a picture from a few days ago when he felt so neglected that he decided to block the TV, but he looked the same today.) He practically lost all will to live, at least until she finally got up and went to the kitchen ;-) The brat can eat his own weight in kibbles and gushy food, I think!

Luckily it's a very short workweek due to the public holiday yesterday. Tomorrow, and then Mom will be only serving us again for the weekend. I can't wait to give her my to-do list!