Cocoon

Hey there!
Did you think we have gone into hibernation? The Christmas tree got a well-deserved break from us "hoolicats" how Mom has called us?
No way. Gnomes and pineapple slices keep falling left and right, one of the wire crochet baubles got a little artistic makeover (I stepped on it because flat it looked more like modern art instead of traditional boredom, I'm a very modern cat), a gnome lost a hand and early one morning, just as the sun was rising ... oh wait, that is a song, the sun really wasn't rising yet when I felled the tree again like the pro I am. If the brat thinks he has a monopoly on destruction around there, he can think again.
Just a moment while I .... what is he ... oh yes, he decided to show me right away what he can do and knocked over the light arch. That's a new one. I'm glad it didn't break. I'm quite sure that would have get him kicked out and I am kind of getting used to him.

Uh-oh. Can you see it? We have another victim.
Don't worry, the rescue team set out immediately to re-erect the arch without even needing a crane and the victim was rescued. Luckily gnomes are a hardy little people, and while I feel safe to say that the little fellow is holding a grudge against Mom now because he wasn't even allowed a short sick leave, at least he didn't suffer any heavy injury.

After working hard on the tree, we need some hard sleep in as comfortable surroundings as possible.
Of course I have my own pillow in bed and my own black pillow covers which prevent Mom from taking too many pictures of me. My beautiful black fur is difficult enough to photograph as I'm often told by our resident paparazza, but a black pillow covers doesn't make it any easier.
Ever since I had those unfortunate knee injuries some months ago and managed my queendom from this pillow, it has become my favorite spot for naps and you can rarely find me in one of my former spots.

Der Dekan has more than one spot, but of course he's still young and adventurous and keeps thinking the grass is greener elsewhere (and the food is always better on my plate). He sleeps in Mom's arm, on her feet, at the end of the bed, on the wardrobe, in his cardboard bed, in his donut since the tree's been up next to it, and today he made Mom jump when she came into the kitchen because he suddenly dangled off the edge of the fridge.
A favorite, however, has been the tent again since temperatures went down. It's not a cat tent as you might think, it's Mom's blanket in bed. Pulling up her knees under the blanket creates a comfy little spot, dark and warm, and the extra is that when you stretch against her with your claws out, you can make her jump. Der Dekan can sleep there for hours. I used to do it, but then stopped a few years ago, now I look down there every, now and then and return to my pillow instead.

The other day Mom was waiting for a parcel and she sat on top of the bed. Der Dekan wanted under the blanket so badly, but he couldn't, so he had to take desperate measures.
What do you think this is (sorry for the bad picture)? Looks like something wrapped up in a comfy little cocoon, doesn't it?

Or somecat.

What is that cocoon, though?
Mom has a bunch of dresses she loves and wears at home. This is one of them. When she's on top of the bed (and sometimes even under a blanket in the dress), der Dekan will go in at the bottom and then throw himself against the fabric, arms (and claws!) stretched out, and he won't give up until he has created his own little sleeping bag like that.
You can't see that in the pictures, but Mom is not behind this cocoon, she's to the right of it. With naked legs because der Dekan will pull as much of the dress as possible to the side for maximum comfort. It's winter, for Bast's sake, and it's not as if Mom doesn't have her own furry legs even if she won't want you to hear that. She could also put on her warm tights if she's afraid of getting cold. You have to give it to her, though, she has been trained so well that she would never try to take her dress back. She may try to pick up the end of the blanket with her feet to cover them, but the only reason to get him out of there would have been the parcel arriving. Which it didn't because the tour was aborted due to the massive workload parcel guys face at the moment. Luckily it wasn't cat food!

Don't think this is spoiling the cat, it's giving a feline overlord what they need and deserve (okay, and demand).

Cats versus Christmas tree - Day 8

Both der Dekan and I are very busy, so I'm just giving you a short update of what has been happening to our Christmas tree.
It's safe to say we both are still having a lot of fun with it.
Mom had neglected her duties of hanging ornaments back yesterday, so she had to dig in corners today. It's her own fault, we told her she should check the tree at least every three to four hours.
We are very good at the hiding game, she should know that by now. Not only did she find pineapple slices strewn about and gnomes sitting here and there, she also found the body of Moose the Fiddler which had not been in that corner the day before! She's welcome, we like to give her the feeling of success every, now and then.
Now she just needs to remember in which of her many safe spots she put his head last year.

She also found something weird looking next to the tree's box. On closer examination, she realized that they were a gnome's arms. She hadn't been aware that the arms were glued on like that - in a very minimalistic way, to put it nicely.
"Armless" still held on in the tree, though, and soon he and his arms were reunited again. Surgery was short and quite simple and as Mom is a genius with glue *wiping tears of laughter from my eyes* Mr. Armless has good chances to keep his arms for longer now as she made sure to use more glue in more spots.
I hope she will be able to do the same for Moose, so he'll be able to play the fiddle for us again soon.

I wonder if she will also find his neighbor eventually.
On the branch next to Mr. Armless, there's only a small red thread left.
Who knows, maybe that gnome decided not to fight with huge cats reminding of Iceland's Yule Cat or Jólakötturinn and jumped off the tree?
Oops, that reminded den Dekan how he had planned to become Jólakötturinn after growing up and he sure has done some growing since Mom wrote about the Yule Cat two years ago!


We also had our own fallen angel. It was done rather cleverly by hiding him in the light arch with the neutral back to the front, but Mom didn't miss it. I think she probably knows us a little too well by now.

We are ready for the next round, I wonder if Mom is, too!

P.S. By the way, I know it's the 7th today, but the tree went up on November 30th, so it's Day 8 of our fun and shenanigans.

Tree Swiper HQ

Have you been wondering how the Christmas thing is going in this house? I thought it was time for a little update.

Mom's first surprise was the night the Christmas tree fell. It was 3.15 a.m. and Mom had been sound asleep with the brat in her arm - I think he does that so she will forgive his countless crimes more easily as she adores having a cat in her arms, but we both hate being picked up - when she heard small knocking sounds which she quickly recognized as gnomes hitting the floor. Later she said she smiled to herself knowing I also had fun with her Christmas gifts to us ... until there was a wooshing sound next.
She turned on the light and saw me, rather unimpressed, next to the fallen tree. Seems her little box scheme is not that effective after all or maybe I just got the perfect angle.
Der Dekan went all wide eyed, no doubt jealous that (the first?) hit of the year was mine and not his. Mom grabbed her camera and took a shot into the dark which accounts for the amazingly bad quality of this picture, but I guess it's a good enough proof of my genius.

Of course that doesn't mean der Dekan feels defeated, he's still very much having his own fun with the tree.
Today Mom noticed that its back looked pretty much undecorated and she didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce very quickly why.
The tree's spot is where our cat donut is usually. A while ago, Mom got it in a special sale, hope everlasting that we would actually use it. Which happens rarely. Very rarely. I don't like the tunnel part at all because I know perfectly well who would be waiting for me outside. Not worth the fun. I also don't like sleeping in there. Why should I if I have my very own pillow in bed plus I am allowed to sleep on all soft surfaces I choose? Der Dekan has sat in it a few times, but not for long, and sometimes he checks the tunnel to make sure there's no other cat in there and that's it.

Now, however, the donut is right behind the tree. Another stroke of genius from Mom who simply thought it would not be used any more back there than it had been before. She was so wrong.

Sitting or lying in there, he can easily and comfortably reach the different branches and just pull off what he wants.
That doesn't mean he's not still enjoying his jumps into the tree, but sometimes you just want to put in minimal energy to wreak maximum havoc, and so he made this his Tree Swiper HQ. Mom refuses to put a sign with its name on it after she crawled around on the floor looking for ornaments. It was particularly funny when she was flat on her belly looking under the wardrobe. Without any success, I should mention. We know better than to hide things in obvious places.

She did manage to "save" two of them, though, rudely interrupting this cozy playdate! 🙄

O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree ...

... your ornaments are historyyyyy!
I'm sure you have seen the memes on the Internet and I'm sure you have sung along.

Mom followed the traditional (as in a tradition beginning only last year, but you have to start somewhere) ritual, first putting up the wooden box - actually step zero was to empty the box because that lady can't just leave something empty, it seems - and putting the tree inside. Der Dekan tried to help a little by sitting on the empty tree box several times, visibly surprised that it went flat every time.

When it was time to put on the ornaments, however, der Dekan was not allowed in the room. No worries, he's used to that. He's not allowed in the kitchen during cooking, he's not always allowed when Mom is hanging up laundry, he's not even allowed to protect her in the bathroom - all because he's a tripping hazard and everything takes five times as long if he's around.
I have no doubt that he waited right outside the door because when she finally opened it, he walked right in and did what little mobsters have to do - jump into a tree and pull off ornaments.

The gnome family she got for him was a big success, in fact we could just hear more of them falling. Now he made the whole tree shake, but the box did its job and prevented the tree falling as well.
We don't have action pictures of him (yet), he likes to attack the tree from the side where he's not seen so easily.

Doesn't he look like a kid on Christmas?

I only paid a short visit so far because I don't get what's quite so exciting about those ornaments. Now if they were felt, that would be a completely different game, but I guess Mom is smart enough not to take that risk, not because she doesn't want me to have fun, but because I tend to swallow parts of it that get stuck on my tongue.
Maybe I'll have another look later.

Morning rituals

Der Dekan and I have several rituals, our individual ones, but also a few together.
There's the chase to the cat tower that I use to get up to the cabinet bed in the hallway. Der Dekan chases after me, but never catches me although he could.
There's the way he sneaks up on my kibbles bowl when I take a break from eating. It's amazing that he still seems to think neither Mom nor I will see him if he only moves slowly enough while I'm just watching him instead of defending it. It's not as if he doesn't have his own kibbles, but the grass is always greener on the side and my kibbles are always much more delicious. He wouldn't even mind if I licked each and every one. It's not so much about the eating as it is about the heist itself. He was born a natural criminal.

And there's our morning ritual when Mom finally deigns to get up for real (meaning I don't count the nightly snack sacrifices that we demand in exchange for a little more sleep for her).
I'll be waiting for her on the chest at the end of the bed and then der Dekan will be creeping up from under the bed and attack.
The fight is violent and merciless and we won't stop until one of us is on the floor begging Mom to save them from certain death ....
.... what's that, Mom? Slap fight? Silly little buggers? Can't you see our ears? And the claws? The raw strength and determination? Excuse me, did you just laugh at me? Funny and cute??
It's not more than a half round fight?? You are not sure we ever even touch one another??? How DARE you?!

I know someone who better sleep with her eyes open tonight!!

Another one bites the dust or Early Santa

It's a sound Mom loves. Not. Even less at 7 in the morning on a day she's not feeling well.
It's the not so sweet sound of another saucer getting smashed on the kitchen floor. It has been a while since the last time, but now the striped serial killer took another one and of course once again didn't show any remorse. Mom said when she closed the door to clean up the sad remains - she does love those dishes and can't replace them - der Dekan just said outside in the hallway and looked surprised, but didn't try to follow her. He of course claims to be innocent. It was an accident. Maybe suicide. Saucers tend to throw themselves off cliffs, he says, which is of course complete rubbish.
Mom was so shocked that she didn't even take pictures of the crime scene which means that once again he will go unpunished.
What happened then, however, is hard to grasp for me.

Flashback to December 2023, the first year that Mom offered a Christmas tree as a sacrifice to Bast. At least that is the only reason why I can imagine she put up the tree knowing very well that somecat (how she likes to call the brat when trying to "conceal his identity" 🙄) would be all over it like only a cat can.
You can read my report on what happened here.

In short, it offers glimpses into a criminal career.
First a hand was gone ...

Next a body was gone ...

There were more "accidents", thefts, and Mom was really lucky to have found the box to put the tree in or the whole tree would have been gone sooner or later.
I don't get what is quite that exciting about the tree, but of course I'm a few years older and a lot wiser than der Dekan. And no born criminal of course.

Eventually, gnome girl disappeared completely, but kept turning up again here and there, providing a lot of fun.
Then this was all Mom found in a really far away corner - the one under the wardrobe - and gnome girl left us for good.

Pretty gruesome, right?
I would have thought that to be the final straw and to see the culprit go directly to jail, not passing go and not collecting 200 bucks.
Wrong. All Mom said was "poor little gnome girl" and off into the bin she went!
If you think, however, that that was the worst, just wait what's next.
Mom went online straight away and ordered what she called a (pre-)Christmas gift for den Dekan! (If you are surprised about the (pre-), yes, she even thinks in parentheses sometimes.)

Just look at this!!!

All in all, there are 16 (!) new little victims for him!
Can you imagine what this is going to be like?
And no, this is completely different from the Christmas Massacre of 2018, also may I remind you that ALL Steiff wool miniatures went behind glass when I just played a tiny wee bit with them? It was not as if Mom went and got me a bag full of new ones, did she? DID SHE??

Well, as usual I'm going to wait on the sidelines for a while and then decide if I want to get in on this or just get myself a bowl full of Squishies (that's how Mom calls our liquid snack tubes) and watch while Mom goes slowly mad from having to pick up dead little gnome people all day.
Of course I'm going to keep you updated as well.
What do you think will happen?

The apocatlypse is coming?

Hey there, how are you doing?
We have been struggling our way through summer. I think I had jinxed it with my last post about temperatures going down. Temperatures went up again and the only way for me to block out Mom's constant whining was to sleep as much as possible which is one of my favorite pastimes, anyway, so it wasn't hard to do.
Der Dekan left Mom's lap once more, and although she kept saying how she missed snuggles, you could tell she was also very glad that the little brat didn't try to glue himself to her. I remember her telling stories about how her big boys Merlin, Greebo, and Ponder didn't give up snuggling completely in summer and how she was often covered in fur sticking and itching all over her body. I can attest to Greebo in particular having been a master shedder. Not that der Dekan and I are amateurs at that game.

Then it suddenly got quite cold for a few days and then it got warm again and from what the weather forecast is saying - if it can be trusted - that is supposed to happen over the coming days as well. Up, down, up, down, but not quite as hot as it was.
Fall is definitely coming.

However, something is coming according to Mom - the apocatlypse.
When she woke up from a nap yesterday, she felt a little neckwarmer in her back that she wouldn't have needed. She thought it might be me sleeping on my pillow although she should know that I prefer a bit of space between us, but when she turned her head, it was der Dekan.
To explain, that pillow is really mine, but sometimes I like to sleep in the corner of the bed (which looks very pathetic, Mom says, because people could think I was forced to sleep in a tiny spot) or on Mom's blanket and then der Dekan takes over the pillow.
Therefore, Mom looked around if she could see me, but only when she got up, she saw the incredible truth.

You may have seen den Dekan and me on that pillow together before, like when we plotted for world domination together with Bruce, but even then I hissed at him.
This time, however, we were butt touching without any attempt of trying to hit the other, and when I got up and went to my spot on Mom't blanket which usually is a sign for den Dekan to pounce me - some weird archaic instinct, I guess - he just yawned, finally got up himself, walked around me once and then lay down in a different spot. No hissing, no slapping, no growling.
Now Mom is scared and preparing for the apocatlypse by ordering more cat food and snacks.
Well done us!