Another one bites the dust or Early Santa

It's a sound Mom loves. Not. Even less at 7 in the morning on a day she's not feeling well.
It's the not so sweet sound of another saucer getting smashed on the kitchen floor. It has been a while since the last time, but now the striped serial killer took another one and of course once again didn't show any remorse. Mom said when she closed the door to clean up the sad remains - she does love those dishes and can't replace them - der Dekan just said outside in the hallway and looked surprised, but didn't try to follow her. He of course claims to be innocent. It was an accident. Maybe suicide. Saucers tend to throw themselves off cliffs, he says, which is of course complete rubbish.
Mom was so shocked that she didn't even take pictures of the crime scene which means that once again he will go unpunished.
What happened then, however, is hard to grasp for me.

Flashback to December 2023, the first year that Mom offered a Christmas tree as a sacrifice to Bast. At least that is the only reason why I can imagine she put up the tree knowing very well that somecat (how she likes to call the brat when trying to "conceal his identity" 🙄) would be all over it like only a cat can.
You can read my report on what happened here.

In short, it offers glimpses into a criminal career.
First a hand was gone ...

Next a body was gone ...

There were more "accidents", thefts, and Mom was really lucky to have found the box to put the tree in or the whole tree would have been gone sooner or later.
I don't get what is quite that exciting about the tree, but of course I'm a few years older and a lot wiser than der Dekan. And no born criminal of course.

Eventually, gnome girl disappeared completely, but kept turning up again here and there, providing a lot of fun.
Then this was all Mom found in a really far away corner - the one under the wardrobe - and gnome girl left us for good.

Pretty gruesome, right?
I would have thought that to be the final straw and to see the culprit go directly to jail, not passing go and not collecting 200 bucks.
Wrong. All Mom said was "poor little gnome girl" and off into the bin she went!
If you think, however, that that was the worst, just wait what's next.
Mom went online straight away and ordered what she called a (pre-)Christmas gift for den Dekan! (If you are surprised about the (pre-), yes, she even thinks in parentheses sometimes.)

Just look at this!!!

All in all, there are 16 (!) new little victims for him!
Can you imagine what this is going to be like?
And no, this is completely different from the Christmas Massacre of 2018, also may I remind you that ALL Steiff wool miniatures went behind glass when I just played a tiny wee bit with them? It was not as if Mom went and got me a bag full of new ones, did she? DID SHE??

Well, as usual I'm going to wait on the sidelines for a while and then decide if I want to get in on this or just get myself a bowl full of Squishies (that's how Mom calls our liquid snack tubes) and watch while Mom goes slowly mad from having to pick up dead little gnome people all day.
Of course I'm going to keep you updated as well.
What do you think will happen?

The apocatlypse is coming?

Hey there, how are you doing?
We have been struggling our way through summer. I think I had jinxed it with my last post about temperatures going down. Temperatures went up again and the only way for me to block out Mom's constant whining was to sleep as much as possible which is one of my favorite pastimes, anyway, so it wasn't hard to do.
Der Dekan left Mom's lap once more, and although she kept saying how she missed snuggles, you could tell she was also very glad that the little brat didn't try to glue himself to her. I remember her telling stories about how her big boys Merlin, Greebo, and Ponder didn't give up snuggling completely in summer and how she was often covered in fur sticking and itching all over her body. I can attest to Greebo in particular having been a master shedder. Not that der Dekan and I are amateurs at that game.

Then it suddenly got quite cold for a few days and then it got warm again and from what the weather forecast is saying - if it can be trusted - that is supposed to happen over the coming days as well. Up, down, up, down, but not quite as hot as it was.
Fall is definitely coming.

However, something is coming according to Mom - the apocatlypse.
When she woke up from a nap yesterday, she felt a little neckwarmer in her back that she wouldn't have needed. She thought it might be me sleeping on my pillow although she should know that I prefer a bit of space between us, but when she turned her head, it was der Dekan.
To explain, that pillow is really mine, but sometimes I like to sleep in the corner of the bed (which looks very pathetic, Mom says, because people could think I was forced to sleep in a tiny spot) or on Mom's blanket and then der Dekan takes over the pillow.
Therefore, Mom looked around if she could see me, but only when she got up, she saw the incredible truth.

You may have seen den Dekan and me on that pillow together before, like when we plotted for world domination together with Bruce, but even then I hissed at him.
This time, however, we were butt touching without any attempt of trying to hit the other, and when I got up and went to my spot on Mom't blanket which usually is a sign for den Dekan to pounce me - some weird archaic instinct, I guess - he just yawned, finally got up himself, walked around me once and then lay down in a different spot. No hissing, no slapping, no growling.
Now Mom is scared and preparing for the apocatlypse by ordering more cat food and snacks.
Well done us!

Baby is back

 

This is Mom. Well, obviously she's not Marilyn Monroe, so not her. I'm talking about the lyrics. Mom is one needy human lady.
When I stopped sleeping on her pillow with her (before der Dekan moved in even), she was devastated and kept telling me stories about her boys, how Merlin slept in her arm all through his life, a spot that Ponder took over very quickly who before that had usually snuggled up to her in another spot. Greebo was practically glued to the back of her knees at night. Even shy Gandalf liked to sleep at her feet. Dude liked to sleep on her before moving on to the ex (not okay she called him a little traitor).

What about the ladies, though?
They were more independent. Mim liked to be in the same room, but not too close, Esme and Meffi were Daddy's girls and only became snugglier (is that even a word?) after he left, but always on their terms - no grabbing, just light touches and if they wanted to get up, that's what they did.

Magica and Jester were too young to say anything about the snuggle levels they would have achieved.

So you can see, Mom had a lot of kitty love over the years, and to be honest, I think she has become addicted to it as so many cat lovers do. It's easy to become addicted to being loved by a cat and it's very difficult to be rejected by a cat.
Both der Dekan and I don't like being picked up for longer than a quick change of location which usually means der Dekan is getting thrown out of the kitchen when Mom prepares food, hers or ours, or that I have to go the vet's. He is a tiny bit more gracious about it, I could live completely without having to fly through the air.
Mom, however, had become used to pick up her big boys - Dude, Merlin, Greebo, and Ponder - and throw them over her shoulder. She even danced with them, sometimes even with two at the same time!

We can't get her to understand that those times are over. That's finally something der Dekan and I can agree on wholeheartedly - and yet the brat is quite the snuggly cat. He sleeps on Mom a lot, shares her pillow with her, likes to curl up to the back of her knees, and sometimes he's just standing on her.
What her problem is then, you ask?
Her problem are higher temperatures. A few weeks ago, literally from one day to the other, der Dekan didn't come near her anymore. He slept stretched out on our official side of the bed or even more often in his corrugated cardboard bed which he thinks is the best thing in the world beside cheese.
Mom would look at him with sad puppy eyes - nice try - and ask him if he didn't love her anymore. It got quite annoying after a while.

Last night, however, after temperatures had dropped a little, the boy had mercy on her, and since then he went through his complete repertoire, sleeping on her legs, standing on her, lying next to her on her pillow, sleeping at the back of her knees, lying in her arm AND pushing his head in her hand (although he had to bite her a little first).
The human is finally happy again.

Gang takeover

Hey there, do you remember us?
I know it has been months that you have heard from us, but Mom had one of her existential crisis thingies and we had to work very hard on supervising her, giving her cuddles and assuring her that her motivation would be coming back eventually. Which it did quite recently, but that's no topic for our blog.
Also I still took it easy. Mom accused me of using my torn cruciate ligament to wait on me hand and foot. So what if? She's our servant, anyway. What's the difference if she brings me my food here or there. I didn't make her bring the litter box as well, that's nice of me, isn't it?

Actually, I've got her where I have always wanted her. Only in very rare cases, I have to push a little by ripping on her hair if I need a 3 a.m. snack, but when she's awake, it's usually enough to look at her. To be honest, I think she enjoys doing everything for me. Sometimes she's feeling a bit guilty about der Dekan having taken over, so she wants to show me I'm still #1. As if there had ever been a shred of doubt about that.

However, it's never a bad idea to send some clear signs for those whose youth leads them to believe they can do anything without having to fear repercussions (obviously I'm not talking about Mom who can be called anything but youthful). I knew just the right sign.
Do you remember the fish drama?

Der Dekan and his gang still hold their meetings on the wardrobe. It's a safe space because Mom is too short to reach up there easily and he probably thought that I would stay off it from now on after hurting my knees. He even made his peace with the East Side gang. Or so he thought.
Let's say, they had an open ear for my suggestions. This is going to stay interesting ...

Happy Valentine's Day!

There are several stories Mom loves to tell about special moments she's had with her cats.
The most important ones are probably in regards to Dude because he was the one who started it all by making Mom fall in love with him at first sight and therefore making it possible for us others to follow in his footsteps.

The first moment lasted about four hours which was the time Mom spent in the chair under the lemon tree holding. Four hours of strategic purring, loving on Mom and drooling on her shirt, convincing her they would have to find a way to get this boy (not so young anymore how they found out later) from California to Germany. Which they did, with the help of their friend in whose house he had been left behind by the previous residents, after her ex couldn't resist him either when it was his turn to meet him a week later.

The second moment came after he had been let out of the bedroom where he had been locked up to make sure he'd be there for his flight to Germany. The whole evening they had tried to get him back inside, not made easier by it being Halloween and the friend's cat being so territorial and chasing him (which was the reason for her not having been able to take him in fully).
The next morning, however, after worrying the whole night, Mom found him sitting on the neighbor's window sill and when she opened her arms, Dude walked right in and clung to her. She often says that the feeling was incredible and that she can still feel it when the memory comes up.

Another moment were 15 minutes of Madam Mim sitting on her lap. Mim loved being in the same room and she tolerated pets and short hugs, but she was not a lapcat. 15 minutes were all she gave Mom in her life, very precious 15 minutes, especially after knowing Mim had had some hard times in her life.

The moment Mom picked up sick baby Merlin from the post from where he was hissing at her in the attempt to convince her of his fierceness.

I could of course keep going with stories from my, let's call them ancestors, but also other cats Mom met in her life, but let's get to me now.
In May 2017, I moved in here. You may remember that I was really skinny and really tired and so glad to get off the streets. I learned to trust Mom, but I always had my boundaries. Petting, fine. Cuddling on the pillow on my terms, fine. Even belly pets are okay with me if I'm in the right mood. I have to draw lines, however. No picking up for cuddling, no carrying around - that means that if it happens now, it usually means vet or - not for a while now *knocking on wood* - medication. No holding down for medication, I'll rip your arm off and I'm not kidding. Ask Mom, she learned the hard way.
And like Mim, I'm not a lap cat. I may stand on Mom with my front paws on very rare occasions, usually if I'm very close to starvation, but I can count those times on one paw.

Today, though, I decided to give Mom a huge gift. She doesn't do Valentine's Day, not just because she's single, it's just not her thing, but now she will always remember this.
She had got cozy, den Dekan on her feet, what else, and ready to make a grocery order.
And then I walked up and sat on her chest.
She actually held her breath. This is not something I have ever done before and she couldn't believe it. She started petting me and I just sat there for a while.
Then I lay down. Guys, I honestly thought she'd lose it completely now.
I gave her our very own special moment - for two hours. She put away the laptop to give me more room and I used it. I purred, I groomed, I rolled around, I stretched out, I rolled up to a ball, I did the whole portfolio, even fell asleep twice, and I swear that Mom teared up a little because it made her so, so happy.
Her favorite game show was running in the background, it often makes her laugh out loud, but she was very careful not to belly laugh, so she wouldn't disturb me, instead she chuckled softly and even then she held me, so I wouldn't be startled by that.
There is no saying how much longer this could have gone on if someone hadn't needed an urgent trip. I could tell how much Mom hated having to coax me off her belly with promises of an extra snack, and now she keeps staring at me, still in disbelief.
I tell you one thing, that lady loves me, and there's nothing der Dekan can do about it. You want to know why I even mention him? Well, see for yourself ;-) He seems to have been wondering about what's going on, too!

Mom took more pictures and even tried to get a little video, but her arms were hardly long enough to manage anything at all as you can tell from the picture not showing my feet. So she's not showing them all, but she tried her best and you get the idea :-D
She told me she'd keep them all, anyway. Humans are so weird.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!

An offer Mom can't refuse

Almost five years ago, Ponder told you about the Christmas Massacre. A very fond memory of mine and it's a shame that Mom has been so thorough about restricting my access to the Steiff woolies.
For years, she had been living in fear after that, calling me a mobster and gang member. Little did she know then what hardened criminal she would invite into her life only a few years later, being deceived by his little pot belly and his darling face.

He still has the belly and he sure can put on an innocent face while committing the most heinous crimes.
Today, for example ... wait, you need to know the whole story.
Against better knowledge, Mom had decided to put up a Christmas tree again this year. As if der Dekan had grown up during the last year. I mean, he has grown, but actually not in a way that a small Christmas tree would be able to appreciate when being tackled.
After the tree had fallen for the third time in four days and ornaments had been generously spread all over the room time and again, not to mention that Mom was afraid the brat would try to strangle himself in the string of lights that he kept pulling off the tree, Mom re-decorated. She wound the lights tightly around the trunk and she happened to find the perfect wooden box to put the tree into. It worked amazingly well. Now all she had to worry about was how many ornaments would find a gruesome death, but she had carefully chosen what not to put on the tree.
At least that's what she thought ...

Gnome girl was a favorite victim. I can't even count how many times der Dekan had snatched her off the tree before she lost a hand. I think he loved Mom putting her back because that way he could pull her off again.
And even today Mom just laughed when she saw her lying there, but at least she told her she was sorry for the brat being so mean to her.
What amazed me was that the string survived all of this.

Another ornament that couldn't get a break was the metal heart, but at least it was sturdy, other than the wooden ornament with the sleigh scene that unfortunately didn't survive (under circumstances not known yet, it is possible that der Dekan put it into Mom's way and she stepped on it with her amazingly big foot, but maybe der Dekan bit into it and broke it, it was very delicate).

You could put all of that down to a cat having just a little fun with a Christmas tree, but what happened next made me aware that somecat had decided to follow my lead from years ago.

Mom went up to the tree to check for "pineapple slices" to put back on their branches when she noticed that the wooden moose was hanging inside of the box instead outside. She pulled on him and ...

Oh yes, Mom, looks like somecat has seen The Godfather because this used to be a complete moose.
Be afraid, be very afraid.

You think that's it?
You are so wrong. Der Dekanfather gives you short breaks, but he doesn't stop.
With his latest victims still around, he went in for the next kill.

You can't see it, but it's Sleigh Ride's sibling Nativity. Mom managed just in time to save her and put her on a different branch that isn't so easy to reach from Mobster HQ.

I don't know about you, but somehow this picture doesn't exactly spell the word remorse.
If I were Mom, I would sleep with my eyes very wide open!

Oh, you want to know about me?
For now I'm just supervising. I have told the tree hello twice, but so quickly that Mom didn't get a chance to take a picture. I don't want to be seen with it and become a suspect in case of - whatever ...

The fish drama

Hello and welcome from my bed (don't believe Mom when she tells you it's hers). I have torn my cruciate ligament in one knee - after tearing the one in the other knee some months ago - and now I'm on pain medication, resting my knee, having my meals delivered, sleeping, or watching what's going on around me.
It happened when I jumped up on the wardrobe a few nights ago.

That wardrobe has seen a lot over the years, but only in the last two years it has turned into a meeting point for gang members.

There is another gang on the East Side of the wardrobe, but der Dekan had a fallout with them after he threw one of them off without so much as a warning. No one was injured, but the mood was very icy afterwards. Count Dracula and Mr. Bones never approved of him, anyway. I wouldn't either if somecat kept trying to walk all over me.

Maybe der Dekan is made for a lonely thug life because this morning something shocking happened.
If you compare this picture to the first one, can you see the difference? It's true, before Mom's and my eyes Fluffy Red took a dive without any warning at all. He didn't make a sound which made it even more gruesome to watch.
This is the face we saw .... it made us shudder.

And when Mom told him she'd call the police, this was his reaction.
Does it look to you as if he has any regrets at all??