Or to be a bit more precise - what's in a nickname?
Last night Mom and I enjoyed a brushing session. I was half on her shoulder, half on her arm, and she brushed away. It felt really, really good. Unfortunately Mom had to disturb the bliss of getting pampered by talking to me. There are times when you just have to shut up, thank you very much.
I know, I know. I'm very talkative myself. Ok, very, very. It's why Mom thinks I have Siamese genes. That and the fact that both my sister and I sometimes look a little cross-eyed, Esme more often than I, when she's concentrating on something in particular.
How am I supposed to let everything go and just bask in the sensation of the brush in my fur, the repetitive stroking if I have to hear something like this??
"You are my cuddly bear, Stibber." Stibber? Really? My name is Ponder Stibbons and I have been named after a very reputable wizard. It's ok to call me Mr Ponder, Mr Stibbons or "Oh Almighty Cat Who Rules My Life And Whose Humble Slave I'll be Forever". But Stibber? If you think that is bad, just wait.
PonPon, Ponsel (argh), Ponder Ponsonby, Mr Ponsonby (Mom says she has no idea where that name comes from), Ponce, Ponderus ... and more rarely, but it can happen, Stibb or Stibbs. These are only the ones derived from my real name. Nerve bag (which is supposed to mean I'm unnerving), dung beetle, dung toad and other choice names depending on the situation are common as well, but also nauseating names that I can't even translate like "Schnuppelchen", made up weird names (yesterday she said I'm an old "kruggel", what the heck is that supposed to be??) or all kind of "bear" names (as mentioned up there). Gee, lady, I'm a grown panther, not a baby kitten.
Of course I'm not the only one who has to suffer.
Let's hear the names for Greebo who is named after a tough and independent witch cat (ignore his baby looks, he has pulled one or the other stunt in the olden days and is still good for surprises today). Greeb or The Greeb, Greebie, Gribber (can you see the pattern? Stibber, Gribber - so pathetic), Greebinski, Gribbs, GreebGreeb, the Greebmeister, Gribski and he also gets called "baby" a LOT.
What about Esme? Or should I say Essy (a name Mom's sister hates deeply because it reminds her of Essig, the German word for vinegar), Es (which is also the German word for "it"), EsEs, Esmita, Esmita Mita (huh??), Lady Es/Essy/Esme, Esselchen (something like little Essy) and of course Mädelchen = little girl and things like that.
Last but not least here are Meffi's names. You know Meffi is a nickname already, her real name is Mephista, but there's more. MeffMeff, Meffel, Muffel, Muffer, MeeeeffMeeeeff, the Queen, the Lady, and all the others.
It's a shame and this is open protest. I don't have much hope, though. I guess we are just too adorable for Mom's little brain and she keeps blowing a circuit when she sees it which then results in irrational actions and speech.