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You probably noticed. Things have gone very slowly here. We - the masters of the house - have been neglected pretty much. "No, don't dance around on my ribs, that hurts." "I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to snuggle/play/cuddle/*insert other things here* with you." This isn't dirty talk, this was a tired Mom. Her feet were hurting, her brain was empty, her energy level was at -156, but hey ... that's not really our problem, is it? We are not toys you can leave in the corner. So we did dance around on her, snuggled up to her and raised hell in the wee hours of the morning when we were hungry, just to make her see we could.
Can you believe I even had restricted access to the computer because she wouldn't even turn it on?
I can only hope these times are over again now. If you think I am writing this myself, you are wrong. I'm stretched out on the desk, my head on my secretary's hand, mentally dictating this post to her (and I sure wish she wouldn't make so many typos, that would speed things up!).

Soooo - what else happened here?
Let's start with Esme. She has started to pursue a new career as a book guardian. It happened accidentally. She had wrapped herself around one of those wooden posts when Mom and Dad came in with a visitor. Esme doesn't like visitors much, at least not without a warning. She likes to watch them for a while first. So she tried to blend in with the bookends. Not very convincing if you ask me, but they indeed didn't notice her for quite a while. When they finally did, Esme "unwrapped" herself and went back into sculpture mode. I have to give her that, even if she doesn't look like a bookend, she's doing a pretty good guarding job.

The only productive thing Mom has done lately is this cuff in memory of a wonderful cat - ME! She loves this picture and when she was lured into the bead looming cave where people have a hard time to find out again, her friend Erin, the Queen of the Bead Loom, made a pattern from it.
Now I caught her staring at Merlin's and Gandalf's picture a lot and I can hear her brain creaking. Can't be long before we see steam coming out of her head.
Here is the original and the imitation. She wanted to take a picture of me looking at it, but I tried to steal it. What was she thinking? Does she still not know me?

I think I'm tired now and need a nap. Wicked plans take time and lots of brain and I don't want to overheat! ;-)

Funny lady

Of course I am not talking about the musical with Barbra Streisand, I have never seen it. Why should I? I like to do my own singing.
I'm talking about the deluded human living in this house.
Wanna know what she just tried?? When I practiced my "walk back and forth in front of the computer, hit the desk lamp with your head and box Mom's chin with everything possible, from head to my incredibly muscular tail", she actually pushed me over to my space and said "Stay!!" At my stunned look she went on "Sit, Pon! Good boy!"
What does she think I am, a dog???

I guess it's not necessary to say that I didn't do such a thing. I am a little worried for her mental health now, though.

Who - me??

Today I'll give advice to all of you humans out there.

It's not smart to let a cat train you.

Unneccesary advice, you think? All humans know that already? No self-respecting human would walk into the trap? I'm afraid we got a pretty inferior specimen in our house then - and a very determined little cat.

Doesn't she look like a little angel? Today she proved she can still be very much a little devil. Mom hates nothing more than cats jumping around on the DVD player. It gets her up in a nanosecond. None of us has brought the technique more to perfection than Meffi has.
Being such a small cat she can jump the player directly, with a very nasty sounding thump. We others have to jump the sideboard and jump on the player from there, it's not half as much fun and even if it works as well, it's a poor performance compared to what the lady does.
I can't be sure, but the fact that the player likes to block when opening the DVD drawer might be credited to her, too.
This fine morning she was feeling hungry and neglected. There were only kibbles and the lady didn't feel like kibbles. She likes her food juicy in the morning.
Up she went. "Meff!" I guess 4 hours of sleep weren't enough for Mom. Up again. "Meheeeeff, pleeease?" She could have gotten up right then. She was awake enough to speak two words, a clear sign she wouldn't just fall asleep again. I counted, it took Meffi exactly five attempts before she could munch away.
It's no wonder I adore her.

Resume

Dear Ms M.,

hereby I want to apply for the job of chiweenie wrangler. I understood you haven't set the business up yet, but let me assure you that I'll be free whenever you'll need me.
At the moment I am working as a counselor for two humans which involves every task from annoying them to consoling them in time of need. They are both in poor condition, so I could collect lots of experience in tending to other creatures, including the rodent variety also living in this household.
If you decide to hire me, my sister Esme will continue my work.

I was born near Goeppingen in 2005. Unfortunately all the documents from that time were lost, so I have to rely on credentials only (which I'm happy to send to you if you consider hiring me).
I started working in my current job in August 2005. Despite my very young age at that time I immediately took over all necessary responsibilities and soon I got promoted to the position of chief annoyer, the highest possible one in this job, with a staff of three felines.
Over the years I had the chance to work with
- humans
- gerbils
- bunnies
- guinea pigs
- coruros
- birds
- free range wildlife (spiders, flies, bugs etc.)

I have no doubt that I can put my experience to good use in work with chiweenies as well and am looking forward to the chance of a personal conversation.

Sincerely,
Ponder Stibbons

Attached are the requested action pictures.

Administrative work - one of my responsibilities

Roll call - there are times when authority is asked of an employee

Controlling part of my current herd - the stuffed variety

Keeping control from above for a more efficient watch

Even when sleeping I keep an eye open. Duty comes first

A chance?

I still don't understand why humans keep thinking things have to go their way. Get up when they want to, go to sleep when they want to, eat when they want to or whatever all those other things are.
Wrong, wrong, wrong! You get up when WE are hungry, you eat when WE don't need you, and you definitely don't go to sleep if WE don't allow it.
Usually I'm the one keeping them awake. In all modesty I have to say that I am very good at my job, too. I trained hard for it.
Last night however the love of my life took over. Who would dare to mess with her?


She likes to sleep on Mom's pillow at night and usually needs a little cuddle time before settling down. Last night there was no settling down. She knocked down DVDs, jumped the glasscases, up and down ... incredible how loud such a dainty creature can be. At first Mom thought it was because the moon eclipse, the blood moon (that had been hiding behind the clouds), but when it didn't stop she went to get some kibbles and indeed Meffi munched them down happily and went to sleep.
It took her about 25 minutes to succeed, but she pulled it through. I am so proud of her. Do you think that means she's finally understanding my way of life a little better? Is there a chance for us after all? Anyway I fell in love with her all over again!

20000 leagues under the desk?

Or rather on the desk? Esme was in for a surprise today when she decided she'd jump on the desk for a little nap. The desk was already occupied by something strange and - as you can see from the wire - obviously unfinished. It's ones of Mom's WIPs.


There is nothing a sister of mine is getting disturbed by for a long time, so she settled for her nap after all.


Hey, wait!! I was distracted, but now I noticed she's in my spot once again!!!

Malnourished

So this is what a malnourished cat looks like who is being forced to sit on a hard chair AND is then even being told to get off it because, I quote "we don't need your hair in our printer, you know you've got so much, you shed like heck".


I'm off to call the local SPCA in order to help Greebo get his rights.