O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree ...

... your ornaments are historyyyyy!
I'm sure you have seen the memes on the Internet and I'm sure you have sung along.

Mom followed the traditional (as in a tradition beginning only last year, but you have to start somewhere) ritual, first putting up the wooden box - actually step zero was to empty the box because that lady can't just leave something empty, it seems - and putting the tree inside. Der Dekan tried to help a little by sitting on the empty tree box several times, visibly surprised that it went flat every time.

When it was time to put on the ornaments, however, der Dekan was not allowed in the room. No worries, he's used to that. He's not allowed in the kitchen during cooking, he's not always allowed when Mom is hanging up laundry, he's not even allowed to protect her in the bathroom - all because he's a tripping hazard and everything takes five times as long if he's around.
I have no doubt that he waited right outside the door because when she finally opened it, he walked right in and did what little mobsters have to do - jump into a tree and pull off ornaments.

The gnome family she got for him was a big success, in fact we could just hear more of them falling. Now he made the whole tree shake, but the box did its job and prevented the tree falling as well.
We don't have action pictures of him (yet), he likes to attack the tree from the side where he's not seen so easily.

Doesn't he look like a kid on Christmas?

I only paid a short visit so far because I don't get what's quite so exciting about those ornaments. Now if they were felt, that would be a completely different game, but I guess Mom is smart enough not to take that risk, not because she doesn't want me to have fun, but because I tend to swallow parts of it that get stuck on my tongue.
Maybe I'll have another look later.

Morning rituals

Der Dekan and I have several rituals, our individual ones, but also a few together.
There's the chase to the cat tower that I use to get up to the cabinet bed in the hallway. Der Dekan chases after me, but never catches me although he could.
There's the way he sneaks up on my kibbles bowl when I take a break from eating. It's amazing that he still seems to think neither Mom nor I will see him if he only moves slowly enough while I'm just watching him instead of defending it. It's not as if he doesn't have his own kibbles, but the grass is always greener on the side and my kibbles are always much more delicious. He wouldn't even mind if I licked each and every one. It's not so much about the eating as it is about the heist itself. He was born a natural criminal.

And there's our morning ritual when Mom finally deigns to get up for real (meaning I don't count the nightly snack sacrifices that we demand in exchange for a little more sleep for her).
I'll be waiting for her on the chest at the end of the bed and then der Dekan will be creeping up from under the bed and attack.
The fight is violent and merciless and we won't stop until one of us is on the floor begging Mom to save them from certain death ....
.... what's that, Mom? Slap fight? Silly little buggers? Can't you see our ears? And the claws? The raw strength and determination? Excuse me, did you just laugh at me? Funny and cute??
It's not more than a half round fight?? You are not sure we ever even touch one another??? How DARE you?!

I know someone who better sleep with her eyes open tonight!!

Another one bites the dust or Early Santa

It's a sound Mom loves. Not. Even less at 7 in the morning on a day she's not feeling well.
It's the not so sweet sound of another saucer getting smashed on the kitchen floor. It has been a while since the last time, but now the striped serial killer took another one and of course once again didn't show any remorse. Mom said when she closed the door to clean up the sad remains - she does love those dishes and can't replace them - der Dekan just said outside in the hallway and looked surprised, but didn't try to follow her. He of course claims to be innocent. It was an accident. Maybe suicide. Saucers tend to throw themselves off cliffs, he says, which is of course complete rubbish.
Mom was so shocked that she didn't even take pictures of the crime scene which means that once again he will go unpunished.
What happened then, however, is hard to grasp for me.

Flashback to December 2023, the first year that Mom offered a Christmas tree as a sacrifice to Bast. At least that is the only reason why I can imagine she put up the tree knowing very well that somecat (how she likes to call the brat when trying to "conceal his identity" 🙄) would be all over it like only a cat can.
You can read my report on what happened here.

In short, it offers glimpses into a criminal career.
First a hand was gone ...

Next a body was gone ...

There were more "accidents", thefts, and Mom was really lucky to have found the box to put the tree in or the whole tree would have been gone sooner or later.
I don't get what is quite that exciting about the tree, but of course I'm a few years older and a lot wiser than der Dekan. And no born criminal of course.

Eventually, gnome girl disappeared completely, but kept turning up again here and there, providing a lot of fun.
Then this was all Mom found in a really far away corner - the one under the wardrobe - and gnome girl left us for good.

Pretty gruesome, right?
I would have thought that to be the final straw and to see the culprit go directly to jail, not passing go and not collecting 200 bucks.
Wrong. All Mom said was "poor little gnome girl" and off into the bin she went!
If you think, however, that that was the worst, just wait what's next.
Mom went online straight away and ordered what she called a (pre-)Christmas gift for den Dekan! (If you are surprised about the (pre-), yes, she even thinks in parentheses sometimes.)

Just look at this!!!

All in all, there are 16 (!) new little victims for him!
Can you imagine what this is going to be like?
And no, this is completely different from the Christmas Massacre of 2018, also may I remind you that ALL Steiff wool miniatures went behind glass when I just played a tiny wee bit with them? It was not as if Mom went and got me a bag full of new ones, did she? DID SHE??

Well, as usual I'm going to wait on the sidelines for a while and then decide if I want to get in on this or just get myself a bowl full of Squishies (that's how Mom calls our liquid snack tubes) and watch while Mom goes slowly mad from having to pick up dead little gnome people all day.
Of course I'm going to keep you updated as well.
What do you think will happen?