The shocking truth

How was your Christmas? Did you have a good time? Lots of gifts, lots of food? Our Christmas mainly consisted of Mom listening to carols and singing along. The decoration is outside in the hallway because those humas are so untrusting. I swear we would all have been good with a tree, hehe.

So much for polite small talk, now let's get to the core of cat evilness in this house. I have to admit I was shocked.
Mom has some time off at the moment and like always her life rhythm started to change after a while. The long night sessions in the library were back, with 50s Robin Hood DVDs, wire, hook and beads. We like to come by and say hello when she does that, sometimes we spend a little time in the armchair with her, sometimes we just circle her and sometimes we whine ... ok, mostly Esme and I are the whiners, I have to be honest about that.

Lately when I have one of my whining bouts, Mom just opens a random closet to let me in. That's what she did the other night in the library. Mystery S to Z is one of my favorites to browse. When I was done going through, one of the door closed ... and then it happened.
It's a good thing that Mom had remembered to bring her camera this time. How else could we have shown that Greebo has no respect for books whatsoever??

"Oh, hey ... it's open. Mystery S to Z, eh? Let's have a closer look."

"Darn, the wrong door closed, there's all books, how am I supposed to go in there now?"

"There you go. One more book and there will be a perfect gap for me to go in."

That was the last straw. Greebo was banned from the library (well, at least to the other side of the room) and book heaven was closed down, even for me, the cat librarian!

(Editor's remark, not authorized by the blog author: The "cat librarian" loves to knock books off my desk if he needs more space. So much for reprimanding his pal.)

There's a new box in town

And it's a great one! It hasn't made its way downstairs yet, so I don't know if Meffi will like it (hm, do you think I should give it to her for Christmas?) and Greebo hasn't tried it yet as he prefers the bed at the moment, but Esme and I for once agree ... it's great!
You can use it both ways as you can see and you can either just sit on it or have a nice grooming session in it.

This is when it came out of the "Vertiko" (not a typo, I don't mean vertigo, this is a piece of furniture) that I love so much that I am constantly trying to get in there. I just knew there was some good stuff in it!
Let me show you a few pictures.

Mom cleaned out the Vertiko from paper stuff and I helped.

You can lie or sit, nothing like a flexible piece of cat box furniture.

Sit on the lid, sit in the box, the butt feeling is definitely different. Believe an expert.

Esme being slightly smaller than me (not talking about her belly, hehe) prefers to use all of the lid.

Bendy Esme! This resulted in a big sigh from Mom who wishes she could even touch her toes when standing. Humans, when will they understand we are so much more talented than they are?

You want to know what else is new in Ponder's Kingdom?

Well, as you can see I am always ready to nip insubordination in the bud (or in the butt in this case!). Esme is just as curious as I am, but sorry, girl, this is MINE! There's no picture of it, but right the next second I had a good pounce at her, she gave me a good hiss and growl and we rolled around on the floor for a bit. The picture came out blurry and before Mom could set her camera to video, it was all over already.

Here you have proof of attempted murder. Mom was glad that Esme (yup, not me, I swear) did this during the day. And while I usually get up (96 % of all times that I'm in the way on the stairs), Esme didn't budge. She's really funny since she's on drugs and makes her people wonder a lot if they really got the right cat back at the vet's. She still takes her pills without much of a problem, she started to like being picked up and snuggled, but there's one thing that hasn't changed ... yesterday Mom starting whistling without noticing herself. She sure did notice when Esme came running into the room yelling as if someone was trying to take her catnip toy! Esme could hardly calm down for a while after Mom stopped. I know she's not much of a whistler, but wow, what a reaction!
Oh, by the way, the murder attempt came before the whistling ;-)

Next I'll show you a Christmas miracle. Meffi made her way upstairs once again! Isn't she just adorable? I really, really wish ... maybe Santa Claus can do something for me ... I love her so much, even when she's hissing at me like a madcat ...

She did NOT freak out when Esme went by her. Sheesh.

You are pretty much up-to-date now, just one last picture. Let me show you what to do if you really, really had enough (of whatever).
I saw Mom peeking at the Santa Claus hat, I think I'll practise that look a bit more now.

The Count of Monte Ponsto

What you'll read now, is not for those faint of heart. It's a story of betrayal and abuse. Only could the opinions on who has been abused not be any more different.
Let me tell you what happened.
Ok, first of all let me admit that I might be just a teeny tiny bit hyper at the moment. Mom blames it on the full moon. She says that a few days before a full moon we tend to freak out and that I'm the worst of them all.
Meffi was extremely touchy last night and whenever one of us walked by her in pure innocence and never closer than half an inch, she started hissing, growling and finally screaming. I swear she's a true banshee. Mom came running one after the other time, telling us with clenched teeth to leave her alone, trying to calm down Meffi - yeah, right - but finally she came storming down the stairs like one of those Greek furies, picked me up and put me into the upstairs bathroom. To be fair she turned on the light before she slammed the door, but I was still a prisoner. I cried out my pain over this betrayal, but did she care? Instead I heard her chasing Esme upstairs as well. My dear sister - she lay down by the door, pressing her head against it.


After days and days the door finally opened again - don't listen to Mom back there, it was NOT just a minute - and the cruel lady came inside asking me if I had calmed down.
I had settled on one of my favorite spots, on the cabinet where she can't reach. I would have tried to dig a tunnel with a spoon, but 1. there was no spoon anywhere, 2. it's hard to dig a tunnel if you are on the second floor and 3. I don't have thumbs. So I just sat up there ignoring her.
That corner of the ceiling really is too interesting.

After I felt she had waited long enough, I came down and ran back and forth on her desk and lap. And I woke her at 5 am. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold. It was yummy.
Now I need a nap. I hope I don't have nightmares.

P.S. Esme is not half as innocent as she likes people to think. In fact I should be mad at her for making my girl cry (Meffi, not Mom, she hasn't been a girl for 150 years).

Ok, here's "Mom". Now let me tell you my version of the ... go away, Ponder, it's my turn ... what are you doing?? Pon, don't you dare turn the laptop off, do you hea/(§OPFHNSOIMb3frjvhaknsuiqkqlqlq ....................................................................................................................................................................

Nap time!

Humans don't nap right. They go to bed or to their couch and fall asleep in an, let's call it organized way. Cats don't need that. We know about every place is just perfect for napping. Ok, it's nice if there's that paralyzing sun ray, but we nap just as well without it.
Couches, carpets, chairs, beds, tables, window sills, name it and we have been there and will be there.

Yesterday Mom worked at the computer. I was on her lap for a bit, but she made me nervous because she kept telling me to hold still while she was trying to type. Strange priorities, that lady. I finally left. After a while Mom came into the bathroom to pick up the laundry basket. It was nice to hear her surprise when she saw me lying there. I had pulled down the sheet that was on the dryer and it felt so nice that I didn't even look up.

Seriously now ... can you imagine one of our pampered humans sleeping like this? They have no idea what they are missing.

Visitor from the past

The other day we had a visitor from the past. I suspect he's one of my ancestors ... what do you say? Ok, you can't be fooled of course, my beauty is just too distinctive, I guess.
This is me indeed, but you have to admit I'm looking pretty good in sepia, right?

Mom loves that picture, it was such a coincidence she could take it. I had been sleeping on the window sill and she happened to turn around when I got up, grabbed her cam, zoomed into the room (she was sitting in the room next to it) and click!

I still like to imagine this is a Greatgreatgreatgreatgrandpa Stibbons from times long gone ...