"You ... laughed ... at ... me."
"I ... did ... not."
"Oh, now you are making fun of the way I speak, too?"
"I didn't laugh at you, and believe me, it wasn't easy."
"Well, thank you for nothing. It was your fault after all."
"My fault that you didn't notice you were on the edge of the bed?"
"I had been sleeping and you woke me because you needed to hold hands."
"You looked so adorable all stretched out like that!"
"I'm handsome in a manly, rugged way, you wanted to say. You make it sound as if I am still a kitten."
"You behave like one sometimes."
"Which gives you the right to laugh at me?"
"I did not laugh at you!"
"I could have hurt myself, you know. More vet bills for you, not talking about the huge guilt trip."
"My whole life is a guilt trip thanks to you guys. Ponder, you fell about 20 inch. Your butt was over the edge already. If you forget what a long and big cat you are, that is not my fault."
"After holding my paws you started rubbing my belly!"
"And you started stretching like Elastocat because you liked it. The only thing hurt is your pride."
"I can see you giggling."
"I'm not g...giggling. Oh, sweetie, you did look f...funny, though, when you sat there, all frozen up, staring at me."
"It was the Stare of Death. Unfortunately it didn't work, you *bleep bleep*."
"I had never seen that happen to you. The others, but not you. One moment on the bed, the next on the floor, and boy, it was loud. The neighbors probably thought there was an earthquake. A catquake."
"Eat my shorts."
"You don't wear shorts. Ponder? Ponder, where are you going? Pon, not the carpet! NOT the ... argh."
I always win in the end.